(Closed) Help! how many extra guests are ok?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

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alfalfasprout10518 :  explain to her you cant afford it..yes she is helping but you did your budgeting before you knew about her guest list.

If she offers to pay for her friends, well then at least you won’t be at your financial capacity 

I know it feels unfair to say no if she is helping to pay but you didn’t use up all the money maliciously.. if you had known she wanted to invite so many from the start you’d have done things a bit differently,I assume.  I wouldn’t feel guilty that you can’t catch her curveball, so to speak.  If you can afford a few but not all then let her know with honesty what you can afford.

Post # 3
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

I understand she’s helping financially but together with your fiancee, explain the guest list capacity and that over 80% is his family already. If she wants to contribute more to cover her friends, then invite them (with money upfront). She will have lots of her family there so it’s not like she will be alone or bored.

Post # 4
Member
9754 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Don’t over invite! If you have space for 100, then invite 100. Ask his mom who she wants to cut from his side if she wants to invite more.

Post # 5
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

I am totally in your boat. My mother-in-law would not reign in her guest list, and it sucks. I have more people than my venue fits, luckily so far the ones coming are the ones we WANT to come, not the randoms we’ve never met, but I’m still frustrated. They are paying for all the food, and say they will chip in on the booze, but I will have to dress more tables than I budgeted for, and just, ughhhhhh! We will be lucky if the 20% no-shows statistic rate actually pans out. I’ve given up at this point. So whenever you want to commiserate, I’m your girl!

Post # 6
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I understand your concern. I can tell you from experience that you’re going to have to learn to say no or you’re going to let her walk all over you for the rest of your marriage. You don’t need to justify it. “I’m sorry but our guest list has been finalized”

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