Post # 1
Oh bees, please help me. He’s invading my dreams and I keep waking crying. I broke his heart, I fled the country. I was scared because I missed home, I missed my family, I couldn’t find work. I was also 7 years younger and didn’t know what I had until it had gone because I deserted it. I was too coward to even say goodbye, I fled while he was at work.
How do I do anything about it now? How do I put it past me? I have barely slept in a long time. How do I ever make up for it or change it or put it right or anything like this?
He doesn’t exist online (I admit to trying to stalk). I don’t want to go near his family as I imagine they would be even more displeased to hear from me than he would. He would probably tell me to fuck off and rightly so, if I ever knew where he was.
It’s hurting my heart, breaking it. Again and again.
Has anyone been through this? What should I do? This has been going on for months.
Post # 3
I’m confused. Is this your fiance you are talking about, or an ex-boyfriend?
Post # 4
Do you have his phone number? Write an old fashioned letter. Although, I’m not sure if you want him back or just to appologize for leaving the way you did and gain closure.
Post # 5
Often having regrets like this are a sign that you’re not happy with your life right now. I would really encourage you to go to counseling or if you can’t afford it, writing works wonders. You can PM me and I can give you some writing prompts that I give my clients. A really good website is also authentichappiness.com and to sign up is free. It has a whole bunch of tools to track your happiness and how to become happier. A GREAT book for you would be Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson.
@slicey19 has some great advice, that’s the first thing I would recommend is write your ex a letter *but don’t send it.* In the letter don’t hold back, say everything that comes to your mind and then either save it or destroy it (tear it up, burn it, draw over it with sharpees, etc.).
Post # 6
Yeah my ex. The one I realized was for me once I had done the damage. My bf I refer to on here is no longer, not for a while now. That’s ok.
I did find out today too that he gor married to someone else this year. Sigh. :/
Thanks for the advice. I will do some writing and check out that site. I really appreciate it.
Post # 7
i would suggest writing a letter but not sending it – no need to insert yourself into someone elses life because you have residual feelings
maybe bury or burn the letter afterwards, let the words fly into the wind and close that chapter of your life
Post # 8
@eloping: I totally agree with you. I think that would be very unfair of me to just pop up.