Post # 1
We are having a small wedding with just family and a few close friends. We have pocket fold style invitations with an outer envelope only (no inner envelope). We are planning to address the invites like this:
Jane and John Doe (for married couples) -or-
John Doe (2 seperate lines for couples not married)
We are inviting a couple of friends who are currently single, but would not mind if they brought a +1. How do we write this on the outer envelope? Etiquette says to NOT put “Jane Doe and Guest”. Can we just put Jane Doe? *Keep in mind, our response card has space for the guests to write in their names and also indicate how many are coming (Total # of people attending: ____)
Would it be clear to you that you could bring a guest if you were single? Since we have no inner envelope, should we write on the pocket fold flap itself with “Jane + John” or “Aunt Jane + Uncle John” for the couples and “Jane + Guest” for the singles? Would it look funny/messy to write on the pocket fold flap itself?
Attached is a sample photo of the style of pocket fold we are using – so when you close it, it’s the little flap that covers over – should we write on that?
Post # 3
I know it’s technically not correct to put “and guest” but I did it anyway–only for those people who did not have a particular person in mind who they would be bringing (since they might not know who they’re bringing by the time the invitations went out). For the people who are in relationships, I found out the name of their SO. You could also just put a little insert in the invitation, stating that they are welcome to bring a guest….or put on the RSVP card that 2 seats have been reserved for them.
Post # 4
I used the old-fashioned method of two envelopes to solve this problem. The outer mailing envelope had my friend’s name and address, and the inner envelope was simply addressed “Jane Smith and guest.”
Personally, I would never assume I could bring a guest unless it was explicitly written on the envelope or with a note in the invite. I wouldn’t go by the rsvp cards because I would assume that all guests get the same cards, and that “# of people attending” was for couples or families.
Post # 5
@EchoPark: Do you mean you have the pocket fold invitations and you used 2 envelopes? Or you have the traditional invitation that uses it’s own envelope, and then you put that inside of the envelope that you address.
Hmmm, maybe we could put Name and Guest on the outside envelope so it is very clear.
Post # 6
I used a traditional invitation, not a pocketfold. I’m really not that familiar with that type, so I guess just go with what looks best (which might not be the Emily Post way!).
I don’t see anything wrong with doing Name and Guest on the outside envelope. I’ve received plenty of invites like this & was glad to know that I could bring a guest.
Post # 7
@EchoPark: OK – you have a point. Since it is mostly family we are inviting, I do not really think anyone will get offended because we didn’t use proper etiquette! ha! Thanks!