(Closed) Help!!! How to respond when a guest asks you AGAIN if children are allowed

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I always felt like if you say ” no kids” then that means 18 and up, which is what we did, except for my two cousins who are 16 and 15, but they are mature and certainly aren’t classified as kids to us. So it’s kind of a case by case basis.

You just have to keep repeating yourself. if the family in question is asking this and has a 15 year old, you may have to specify to them whether or not said 15 year old is a “kid” in your book.

Just stand your ground, and repeat yourself over and over again, annoying, but it works

Post # 3
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just keep it short and sweet, and make sure that you stick to your guns. An “I’m sorry, but we are having an adult only reception. I hope you can make it” would suffice, and no explanation necessary. I wouldn’t say anything about budget, because you may have those people that offer to pay for an extra plate, and then you are kind of stuck.

Post # 4
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Straight from my wedding website:

We respectfully ask that children not be in attendance. Please take the opportunity to relax and temporarily pass on the responsibility of kiddos to willing friends and relatives and enjoy a night out with us! 

Hope that helps!

DO NOT let your guests make you feel guilty for your decision.   You gave your guests plenty of notice.  Stand firm and stay strong! 🙂

 

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@nqz100:  That’s an excellent point re: bringing up the budget.

Post # 6
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@meladoug:I like this answer. If someone still isn’t getting it at that point, I also think you don’t need to continue with the positive (adults only) and can go with the negative (no children). 😉

Post # 7
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

On our website, we wrote …

Due to limited space and seating, we kindly request that no children other than family attend.

I haven’t gotten any negative feedback from that, but we didn’t do save the dates and our invites haven’t gone out yet (we’re getting married September 17th as well).

Post # 8
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s odd that they would ask for the kids policy to be clarified when the invitation actually states “Adult reception to follow” – I wonder (and this is just a shot in the dark) if they are trying to figure out whether kids at the ceremony is permissible?  I mean, that would still be odd, because, practically speaking, how are you going to bring a kid to a ceremony and not to the reception?

Anyway, I would give those people a call and say, “We’re sorry, we won’t be able to accommodate Johnny and Sally, but we hope that you and Joe will be able to make it – we would love to have you there!”  If they ask why – which isn’t entirely their business anyway, you can just say something about the venue capacity (if it’s believable – not if you’re going to have 50 people show up to a place that can hold 300).  I tend to think you shouldn’t have to tell people about your budget constraints because your money isn’t their business – but if you’re comfortable telling them that reason, you can.

I would avoid telling them your reasons having to do with wanting an adults-only atmosphere – only because I think that will cause people to argue with you more.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Just let them know

“Unfortunately we will not be able to accomodate the kiddos. We hope that you and your SO will still be able to make it & celebrate with us.

Response: Oh you can… great we look forward to seeing you!

            Oh that’s too bad.. we understand though. Thanks so much for letting us know

I also set up to have childcare available JUST IN CASE someone brought their kiddos… I was more worried about the ceremony considering I’ve been to a wedding where a 2 y/o went ROAR every 30 sec through the ENTIRE thing! lol

Post # 11
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

“It is going to be more of an adult atmosphere.  So, I am si sorry, but we are having an adults only wedding.”

Tout finis

 

Post # 12
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think the only confusion that could come from this is that you mention an adult-only reception twice.  What about ceremony?  Maybe that’s what they’re asking about.

Post # 13
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I bet they haven’t gone onto your website, since they may not have the time/technology, etc and are unaware of the rule.  Perhaps the questions will lessen when the invites go out and the “no children” sentence is right on the invite?

The topic ‘Help!!! How to respond when a guest asks you AGAIN if children are allowed’ is closed to new replies.

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