(Closed) Help, I am losing my mind!!!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Interesting. You definately want to be honest with him and let him know that to you marraige is about love and commitment to you, and that you want a celebration with the people you love and not just a piece of paper. If it has to be soon, then even a small dinner with close family and friends to celebrate will still be something… I have faith that was just the beginning of your conversations about it and that he was not putting his foot down about it. That you will be able to come up woth a compromise.

Post # 4
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is EXACTLY how things started with me! It was an insurance thing…then a “if it will make you happy” thing….then, as he grew to the idea, he started liking it., and now he is as into it as I am! Some men just aren’t good at showing how they really feel, esp. when it comes to the ultra-mushy stuff, or it takes awhile for them to admit they want the mushy stuff, too.

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

He has a hard time thinking through the jungle of wedding stuff.  Make it as simple as possible- then, have wonderful anniversaries.  Best wishes.

Post # 7
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I don’t understand why you are upset? he wants to marry you regardless of trying to help with insurance.. i’m sure.. Did I not read something… I know i”m new so I don’t know the story behind this. insurance thing.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

he’s not that into you..  did you read the book? When a man is ready to have you for his wife he can’t wait for the day to do it.. He’s not ready.. Frown

Post # 10
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe this would be a really good opportunity for you to re-evaluate your relationship then. Although it seems kind of him to be willing to marry you so you have insurance, it’s also pretty heartless for him to not even consider having a public marriage.

If he isn’t ready, is there any way that you can get onto his insurance plan; like as a domestic partner or something? On the flip side it would be difficult to force marriage upon someone who isn’t ready for it. It may make him resentful and could just end up breaking you two apart. You may want to check into this before you consider going through with it. Who knows, you may not be able to qualify onto his insurance place even if you are legally married.

Post # 11
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee

Whoa whoa whoa!  He isn’t ready to commit in public?  Did his last marriage leave him cold? And would you even be able to get on his insurance with a pre-existing?  And why a pre-nup?  More info please  Frown

Post # 13
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee

Okay, thanks for the explanation.  I think you need to get out of the way and not say anything.  He may just come around if you relax a bit.  I think you are both stressing out too much because of the past.  I know it’s hard to be in your thoughts sometimes but it sounds like maybe you are forcing the issue.  Setting time aside to talk doesn’t always work with men.  They go on the defensive.  Good luck and keep up posted.

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