Post # 1
so my man and i are getting married later this year and we are finalizing our guest-list. we are on a pretty tight budget and its been hard deciding who to cut and who to keep as a guest.
my question for you is if i should invite my 2 sisters. before you think im crazy, let me explain that they are half-sisters and i have only known them about 5 years. Our dad died when I was very young (they are both way older than me) and our moms never told us about eachother. When we first met a few years ago we talked some, hung out some (we all have kids too) but in the past 2 years I have not seen either of them once. One lives 5 min away, the other 30 min. Sister 1 posts random photos and silly stuff on my facebook page all the time and says “miss you” randomly but thats the extent of our relationship. They constantly get together and never invite me, even going as far as meeting at the park down the street from my house and no text or anything. Sister # 2 called me over a year ago to plan a time to meet my newborn daughter but never showed up and i havent heard from her in anyway since then! I have seen her 2 times at the restaurant where she works (when i was out with a friend) and it was very awkward. she was nice but never said sorry for not coming by or anything. I think its one of those things where so much time passed they she felt awkward but basically i have no relationship with either of them
My fiance is disgusted by their lack of effort (because i have made some and just finally gave up). I know the one sister posts facebook stuff all the time but i cant just invite her and not the other one and that isnt much anyways. Bottomline is I do not want to invite them (and their husbands who I have never met and do not know) but Im gonna assume i will get a lot of s*** from sister #1 if i dont (she is kinda loud and obnoxiously honest).
would you invite them because they are technically family? or is it okay to just say we are only able to have our very closest friends and family there?
Thanks so much!!
Post # 3
@bbridetobee: Maybe talk to them about it? You guys’ relationship isn’t a secret from one another. Talk to them, let them know your thoughts, let them know you want to be closer, but ask if they even have an interest in going.
Post # 4
If I were in your situation I would not invite them. Especially if they don’t seem to be as invested in a relationship as you do.
Post # 5
If you aren’t actually close to them I don’t see the problem with not inviting them. If you are truly having a small wedding, they should be understanding.
It isn’t like you hang out all the time. Think about it, if they are upset with you, it isn’t as if the relationship is going to change from good to bad afterwards, right? 🙂
Post # 6
I wouldn’t invite them and if they ask, then work on it. If you really don’t want to, explain how small your wedding is going to be.
Post # 7
@bbridetobee: No. Don’t invite them. You tried your best to make the relationship work but it’s pretty clear they’re not making it worth your time so I say don’t bother. If you guys didn’t share a father then you’d have cut them out of your life ages ago, right? It seems like they sort of go out of their way to leave you out, so you don’t have to extend the privilege of a wedding invitation to them. Your wedding is going to be small so why sacrifice inviting prople who have been there for you for these two who from the sounds of things might not even turn up?
Post # 8
Sounds like they wouldn’t even go if you did invite them.
I’d say stick to people you really want there especially if it’s small. I didn’t invite my sisters, but only after they told me up front they could not come.
Post # 9
@bbridetobee: I would invite them, and their husbands. The bottom line is there is a deep “blood” connection because you share a father. They may not attend, but I think it’s a nice gesture. I think Sister #1 (who seems to desire a relationship with you) will feel more comfortable coming if sister #2 is invited.
I wouldn’t be harsh on them on having outings without you. They are sisters, they have grown up together and known each other all their lives. You are like a distant relative. I don’t think it’s at all strange that they meet near your house and don’t invite you.
ETA: Oh wait, if you say you’re on a tight budget it’s ok to not invite them. I’m just saying, that ideally and with a large guest list, it’s nice to.
Post # 10
I think that if you want to keep the possiblity of forging a stronger relationship with them, then you should invite them. If you are okay with status quo, or less, than you do not have to invite them.