(Closed) Help I feel like I got pushed out, should I do anything?

posted 10 years ago in Jewish
Post # 1
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Hi, I do need help to this basic question even tho it involves a Jewish custom–It is customary for a bride to buy a Tallis (kind of shawl) for her fiancee during the engagement time.  My Fiance has a childhood friend who owns a business of making these very special ones–he lives in Israel so I was going to ask for his website-I’ve only met him once.  However, recently he responded to our Engagement announcement and… he and my Fiance got into a dialogue about "Do you need a tallis?  So my Fiance wrote back saying "Yes".  

So, while I assumed it was something I would give him, both to follow tradition and because it might be a special gift to our own son in the future…looks like it is out of my hands.  I dont want to appear ungrateful-I realise I can always buy him another for our first anniversary or something–should I just acknowledge that I believe they have it covered and be thankful?   Or should I insist on giving it myself?  Help, Please-Thanks

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Post # 3
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If it is important to you to be the one to give it, I would say tell your fiance about your feelings.  Maybe you can be the one to pick it out and surprise your Fiance at least as far as that goes.  I’m not Jewish, so I am not familiar with the custom, but I would assume that they don’t all look exactly the same.  That way you can feel  like you still have a part in this special tradition.

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