(Closed) Help! I hate my engagement ring!!

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@kmb2978:  I think SUPER-QUICK you should get him to a jewelry store (“to buy something for mum’s birthday” or to buy yourself some earrings or whatever seems most reasonable) and FALL IN LOVE with a ring and make a huge deal about it. Admit you’ve looked at some rings online and just haven’t been able to find anything you loved, but OMG LOOK HONEY, THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT BEAUTIFUL RING EVER. And then hope he hears you and takes the hint, returns the previous ring and buys the one you love.

Post # 5
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

=/

What’s wrong with it? It isn’t “flashy”/big enough? I don’t think you should compare the size to his ex’s ring or your old ring… I mean both those ended in divorce…so clearly a big ring a good marriage does not make. Also, diamonds have greatly increased in cost in the past few years (much more than inflation). This may be what he can afford right now.

I sense this is dangerous territory between you two.

 

Post # 6
Member
4713 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

Girl that sucks! U need to take a pic and show us! What does it look like?

Post # 7
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve seen his exes ring he still has and that one is BIGGER and prettier!! And I’m supposed to be the love of his life!!



This is your problem. You’re comparing what you have to what someone else has. Stop it. He’s marrying you, not them. You’re going to poison your relationship if you keep this mentality, because it probably will come up in a future argument. “Well <ex’s name> has a prettier ring than I do!” That is materialistic and toxic. Drop this mentality. If you dislike the ring, figure out why, and “because <so and so> has a bigger/better/prettier/flashier one.” is not a valid reason. Figure out why, a legitimate reason why, and bring it up to him.

Post # 8
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@kmb2978:  I asked my SO and he says not to bring it up until he proposes in case he has something awesome planned for the proposal (like on New Year’s that he’s spent forever planning), and to find a very tactful way of telling him that you’d love to marry him, but the ring really isn’t your style and maybe you could change it for something else.

Post # 9
Member
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@kmb2978:  

is there any other possible explanation for what you found? Could it have been an old promise ring he had given to someone years ago that he may want to try to sell?? Could the jewelry store bag you found be from some other piece of jewelry (earrings, etc.) that he may have bought someone else (his mom, sister) for Christmas?

Post # 10
Member
8600 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d leave it go until new years at least, rather than raining on his parade before he even gets the chance to propose. You can always tactfully explain later that the ring isn’t your style or whatever and see if he will exchange it. Are you absolutely sure he has the budget for a larger ring?

Post # 11
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe he got a smaller but very good quality ring? I have no idea.. I’d like to see a picture of it though!

Post # 13
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Hmm, I will agree it isn’t a very big ring but it does not look childish/inappropriate for someone your age to wear.

If I were you I would work on making sure I look happy when he gives me the ring, but then gently approach the topic about changing it. I’m concerned that this may be what is in his budget at the moment. How would you feel about contributing to the budget to get something more like you had in mind?

Post # 15
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s lovely – I just think its thin.. and maybe that’s what you don’t like about it . As the pp said, it could be a budget problem. I’m sure if he loves you, he’ll understand if [after] he proposes, you want to change it. Maybe take out the diamonds and put them in a new/different setting. Some women are VERY picky about their jewelry !

Post # 16
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kmb2978:  this one is best suited for a 17 y/o bride. I’m 34 and a CPA.


….what?

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