(Closed) Help: I hate my fiances dog.

posted 4 years ago in Pets
Post # 16
9967 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand your fears, however, feeling as though you “hate” the dog is something you need to keep under control.  Dogs are uncanny at sensing people’s emotions, especially negative ones such as fear and anger.  Keep your emotions under control for your own safety as well as for your own dog’s safety.  I hope it works out for you, with proper handling it should in time.  You may even grow to love the dog once you earn his respect.  Earning his respect is key.

Post # 17
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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Sunfire :  Such a good point. My little ankle bitter used to nip my FI’s ankles when we were first dating. He stopped as soon as Fiance picked him up and held him and fussed over him. 

Post # 18
4227 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I have never had a dog, but I have two cats. DH and I got one of our cats together, and the other one I brought into the relationship. My cat HATED DH at first! She’d seek out his clothes and pee and poop on them (even if it meant crawling over my stuff to get to them). She even peed in his shoes! She REFUSED any physcal affection from him (even though she is a complete lap cat and sucky baby with me). She even would refuse food and treats from him. The worst thing she ever did was haul off and poop in his work backpack!

It truly took about a year for her to warm up to him. All he did was keep being patient with her, kept trying to feed her, kept trying to pet her – basically killed her with kindness. He wore her down and now they are cool.


Post # 19
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

In the meantime with the bed, there are they things you can get for potty training kids.  It is a waterproof blanket thing and it goes over the sheet and secures under the matress.  You could just put it over the blankets too.  

Post # 20
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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lmccloy :  The dog needs extra training ASAP. Call around and find a good place and discuss with your fiance. I don’t think its a small issue if your feel unsafe. Can you give the dogs separate “territory” for now? 

Post # 21
8989 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lmccloy :  the smart ones always need extra training! It sounds like you know how to do training you just have to hammer it home every single day. Also don’t give up when he doesn’t listen to you. My dog is well behaved 99% of the time, but that 1% he’s a jerkface and doesn’t listen to a command and tries to walk away I step in front of him and repeat the command until he does it – even if it takes a few minutes and even after I’ve stopped really caring if he does it or not. 

Post # 22
6262 posts
Bee Keeper

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lmccloy :  just to restate after your update where you talk about showing him dominance etc, please pick a modern trainer who uses positive renforcement and teaches you both how to handle each behaviour as well as general day to day stuff in a way that increases bonding, not someone who believes in outdated alpha/pack leader/ dominance theories.  It’s never good but particularly at the point you’re at, if you go down this route you could end up with a lot of behaviour suppression that will manifest itself in other ways.  

Post # 23
2339 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Not going to add to the very good advice here but can I say how nice it is to read a plea for advice about a pet written by a conscientious, committed pet owner rather than some fuckwit who is startled by behavioural issues in their untrained, unwalked “baby” that has been crated for 11 hours a day after a first holiday week of 24/7 company.

Post # 25
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think the dogs and their “parents” 🙂 could both really bennefit from some time with a trainer.

Post # 26
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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lmccloy :  Get a behaviorist or a trainer to help you. Unfortunately, my pitbull is like that with other females (unless they are small dogs) but not males and she usually reacts when we are not home. When people come over with their dogs to our house she is fine but elsewhere- we have to keep her away from other animals.

I would definitely keep the dogs separated when no one is home to avoid any issues when you aren’t there. I think that the beginning is tough as there is a new dynamic and things take time and all dogs do tend to have their personalities as do people. Dogs also react to your actions so if you are uncomfortable/not confident with the situation they sense that and take over. This is where a good trainer or behaviorist (specifically one with large breed experience) would be able to help.

Post # 27
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

OP, I don’t have much to add since so much good advice has been given by PPs; I just wanted to tell you to continue the positive reinforcement and being patient as adding two new pack members to the household might take some time getting used to. Remember to set rules and boundries but always with love and never violence. Anyways, you seem very well educated with what you have to do so I wish you the best of luck. 

Hugs and keep us up to date 🙂 

Post # 28
31 posts

Do you have a waterproof mattress protector on your bed? If you don’t, might be good to get one until she stops peeing. Makes the clean up way easier, at least. 

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