(Closed) HELP! I just found out that I NOW have to abstain from premarital sex…

posted 12 years ago in Christian
Post # 47
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i agree with worcesterbride too.  It seems like your church is making you sign this contract so that they can say that you are “impure” right now.  That to me seems very manipulative.  I wouldn’t sign something that I don’t agree with. 

Post # 48
1 posts

[personal attacks removed]

Post # 49
359 posts
Helper bee

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@WhtRabbit23:  I was wondering what the relevance was of bringing up a post that is 2 years old…

Post # 50
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@FlutterbyBee: Was thinking the same thing.

Post # 51
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with some of the PP…Your church doesn’t seem to match up with what you REALLY believe in and feel is right, and they aren’t treating you and your Fiance with respect, in my opinion. They are asking you to do something very strict and extremely personal, and I think it’s normal to not feel completely comfortable with that. 

I would ask yourself what you really love about your church and the congregation. Is it just that you’ve been there so long that it feels comfortable? If there aren’t substantial reasons that you like and agree with your church outside of this issue, then I think it would be wise to sit back and really think about exactly what you believe and what you want out of your religion, your marriage, and your personal and professional life. If your church isn’t aligned with thse things on major points, you need a church and a community that you agree with and where there is mutual respect and support. A church should be there to guide, nurture and show the same trust in you as you have in them, not demand personal actions and give you no reasonable choice in the matter. They should encourage abstinence for you if that’s what they believe in, but never should they impose directives and monitor to make sure you’re being true to your word. 

I don’t say this to be preachy toward you and mean no offense… I’m not religious and haven’t been for a while, but I was raised Christian, so I understand the basic ideas. This church to me doesn’t sound like it exemplifies the love, acceptance, and respect that Jesus spoke of. It might be hard, but you should ask yourself if you really want to be a part of that particular church for the right reasons. This may be a way for you to be led to a new church- one that accepts, guides, respects, and loves you for you, your choices, and your mistakes. I hope things work out well for you. 


Post # 52
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

View original reply
@WhtRabbit23: seek help to overcome the bigoted beliefs you’ve articulated.

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