(Closed) Help! I just get engaged and I love another ring!!?!?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Hostess
8760 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

pglt09:  I think as you picked your ring and your Fiance spent a tonne of money on it (sorry but that is a lot of money to a lot of people) you need to be grateful and get over it. IF you happen to love another ring, maybe leave it to your Fiance, he may surprise you with a random extra pretty ring. But I personally wouldn’t be suggesting or thinking about getting a replacement engagement ring.

Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

pglt09: I have to agree with MsBeer. $4500 is a lot for a ring. I know how you feel with the falling in love with another ring. I originally wanted a different ring that was way out of budget. But I have forgotten about that ring and couldn’t picture myself with a different ring than I have now. Maybe discuss getting the ring as a ring to wear on vacation as it is much cheaper?   

Post # 4
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I think you’re putting aesthetics over the meaning at this early stage. It’s only been a year, this new ring is just pretty and blingy, you’re in lust. Not love! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Having said that, I’m all for extra rings! I wouldn’t consider it an engagement ring maybe a right hand ring you bought yourself? I think you’re fiance would understand a love of bling for both hands instead of replacing what he gave you. Replacing it  would probably hurt his feelings

Post # 6
Member
1865 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

If you can afford yourself could you just buy it and switch it out with the original depending on your mood? If it doesn’t bother your Fiance of course ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 7
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I would have to agree! $4500 is a huge amount of money imo and its also a symbol of that special time in your life.ย 

Post # 9
Member
10577 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

pglt09:  since your getting married in a 6 months, could you just wait it out another 1.5 years? If you still love it by then, maybe it could be an anniversary gift. Or, valentine’s day, bday, xmas gift, etc..as a right hand ring? There’s a reason why this ring cost a fraction of what your ring costs. Give it some time, it’s probably just lust! Oh, and stop trying on rings or you’ll end up never satisfied like me lol 

Post # 10
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Hmm. 

I think you should leave it. Stop looking at other rings and be happy with the one you got! I wouldn’t want to upset your Fiance and let’s put it this way, the first ring he buys you is the most important one – I’m not sure how he would feel if you traded it in for another EVEN if you told him this new one was going to be cheaper. If his feelings mean that much to you I would call time on the subject and move on! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

That said, I love extra sparkle anytime so I’m going to go with what Mrs Sparkle Bee said – save the blingy ring for an anniversary gift or something else. Your e-ring is your e-ring for a reason. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

XX

 

Post # 11
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

pglt09:  I think you should love the ring you have ( and what it symbolizes) , and hope he buys the other one for v-day or something as a “just because” gift. Upgrades normally come after a few years of marriage to my knowledge, idk I would feel bad asking for a swap so soon.

Post # 12
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

pglt09:  

Sure, you could switch, if your groom is on board with it. I still agree with the other Bees to view this new ring as an anniversary or Valentine gift, not a replacement e-ring. We older Bees often say, “patience, grasshopper”, to the younger Bees for a reason. The original e-ring (or w-band) is unlikely to be the only marital bling you’ll ever have during your lifetime. We often receive new bling that we switch as we choose.

I’d pin this one, watch it, snag it on clearance. If I try to sell a 2nd hand e-ring (originally $4500) for $3000 (if I’m lucky), and buy a $1300 replacement e-ring, then it’s really a $2800 replacement e-ring. Sure, I may love it and I might have bought it for $2800 if I saw it first. Would you or your groom do that? Or would you rather keep an eye out for extramarital bling (no pun intended) for $1300 or less?

Happy shopping, Bee!

 

Post # 13
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

First, have you tried on wedding bands for your engagement ring? There’s SO many options for wedding bands like milgrain, eternity, double bands, vintage, colored gemstone ones, etc. I’d spend some time researching and trying on blingy wedding bands/guards before I’d buy a new ring. Go on etsy if you want some gorgeous unique ones. Even searching the boards on here can show you just how much a blingy wedding band can add to a simple ring. You also always have the option of resetting your main stone into a double halo setting or something similarly eye-catching.

I’ve been married for 3 years and have… well, let’s just say it’s more than 3 wedding sets lol. Just last week I went to pick up a new set from being resized and that same night I was looking up more rings. After you’ve sold your first ring things can get crazy pretty quickly since there isn’t huge sentimental value on what ring you wear anymore which can be a good or bad thing. I lost my first ring so I dealt with guilty feelings but not in the same way you’ll have to since mine was on accident. 

Honestly, I think it’ll only be as big of a deal as you make it. My husband is completely accustomed to my addiction to rings now and doesn’t bat an eye when I tell him I want more (unless it costs a lot). There are other ways to make the ring sentimental. If you get the new ring, make sure he has a say in helping choose your wedding band. That way you two picked out the new set together. I think either way he’ll be disappointed at first, especially if you keep talking about it and asking, “Does this hurt you? Are you sad about it?” because if you do you’ll end up feeling guilty and not getting the new ring and then neither one of you will be happy since he knows you want a different one. I say rip off the band-aid and just buy it if you really want it. Or keep and wear both rings so both of you get what you want  

 

 

Post # 14
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

First, stop looking at wedding sets. ๐Ÿ™‚

Second, if you want it, buy it as a right hand ring. You can have as many right hand rings as you want.

Third, this sounds like a major downgrade. From a 4500 ring to just over 1,000? Yeah. It doesn’t sound like you’d be upgrading. Maybe there is something else you are feeling unsatisfied about and you’re projecting on to the ring. But even if not, life isn’t TV or Pinterest, and not everything we own is the ONE. I think way too much importance is being placed on the perfect life long ring, the perfect wedding dress, perfect proposal, etc etc. You’re a lucky girl, be happy with what you have.

Post # 15
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s been a minute since you saw it last night.  Don’t jump the gun like you did last time.  There are plenty of things I see and wish I could have them, but forget about it in a few days.  

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