Help! I lied to my Fiancee and feel guilty!

posted 3 weeks ago in Rings
Post # 76
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee

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@weddingmaven:  I understood your argument. I just disagree with you. I think my point was clear: saying that she would sell the ring and adhere to his budget would have been the wrong way to address the situation or make amends and it would open the door to further problems to the relationship in the future. The fact that you insist on that, shows clearly how entrenched your sexist mentality is.

Post # 77
Member
499 posts
Helper bee

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@klh091985:  Sounds to me like you have a very healthy and respectful relationship! And him buying the wedding rings sounds like a great compromise! Congrats!

 

Post # 78
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee

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@kevinsbee:  Agreed–the situation was overblown. Indeed, I’d be concerned if her fiance had taken major offence, as that is not the temperment that one would want in a doctor. While medical doctors need to be knowledgeable, they also need to be able to keep things in perspective and not let their ego interfere with a recognition of their own limits.

Post # 79
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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@klh091985:  So gorgeous!!! I’m glad you had a good outcome! 
CONGRATS!

Post # 80
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Shreveport, LA

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@anonymousbee001:  Yes so true!!! 

OP the ring is stunning!!! I’m glad it worked out, I figured it would and now you can move forward guiltless and rocking that beautiful new ring and fiancé on your arm! 

Post # 81
Member
13260 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@anonymousbee001:  Very last reply. Changing her attitude about the ring might have been be a good way for OP to show that she was more focused on the meaning of an engagement ring than on its value, especially after a violation of trust such as this. That has nothing whatsoever to do with sexism. 

The fact that you’d be “concerned” if the Fiance took offense to being lied to and think that would make him a less worthy doctor is absurd and just proves we aren’t even talking the same language. Lots of people consider honesty to be a very important indication of character and would not be so quick to let this go. I wouldn’t.  

Again, very glad it worked out for OP. She’s just lucky it did. 

Post # 82
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee

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@weddingmaven: 

Oh sure, like your previous “last reply”. She made a minor misrepresentation. OP doesn’t have to hold the same views on the meaning of the engagement ring as you. Moreover your suggestion that OP placed to much emphasis on the cost of the ring is unsubstantiated. She can have preferences over a ring she plans to without being overtly focused on the monetary value of the ring. Furthermore, whatever gesture you think that such statement or change in attitude might convey comes at too great a cost. I very much hope that OP does not change her attitude as you suggest, as doing such would do both her and her relationship a disservice.

It’s not absurd: the level of responsibility and care doctors are entrusted with in light of highly complicated and sometimes emotional situations necessitates that they not let their ego cloud their judgement. To be clear, an overreaction is more consistent with a defense of one’s ego than a response to a relatively innocuous fib.

Finally, your characterization of OP as “lucky” suggests you think that most men would or should have taken more offense, which I find both quite sexist and a fairly pessimistic view of the gender as whole.

Post # 83
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee

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@klh091985:  The ring is lovely. Please don’t feel guilty. In fact, things likely turned out far better than if you had let him choose a ring himself or if you had stayed within his budget and waited to upgrade 🙂

Post # 84
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@klh091985:  What a wonderful update and gorgeous ring, OP! Sounds like you and your partner have a loving and understanding relationship built on compromise. I really am happy everything went so well!!

Post # 85
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

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@klh091985:  your ring is stunning! I am thinking of doing something similar but with a radiant cus. Will a wedding band sit flush with this?

Would you mind showing me a side picture of your setting? I’m wondering the beat way to set it! 

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