(Closed) help! I need an excuse not to go!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Just say you can’t go. You don’t need to give an excuse. Did she give you guys an excuse for not inviting you to the wedding? You are adults, adults don’t have to explain themselves.

Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would just say that unfortunately I’m unable to attend.  You don’t need to give a reason.  I’ve not attended events because I just didn’t feel like it that day but I was gracious enough to say, “Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend.”

Post # 6
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think you even need to come up with an excuse.  Just decline on Facebook 🙂

Post # 7
Member
10601 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You have a friend from your hometown who’s passing through and it’s the only day you can see her.

Your husband planned a special evening for the 2 of you that night.

You’re not comfortable with a lingerie shower (may or may not work, depending on your personality).

Post # 8
Member
10601 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with everyone above, that you don’t need an excuse, but you asked, so I provided some.

Post # 9
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with just saying you can’t go, but if you are like me you might feel you need to give an excuse. Are there any theaters in your area or events where you can convincingly say that yourself and co-worker already bought tickets for? Or anything of that sort, something non-refundable?

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

just say thank you but i cant attend. if she asks why just say its personal and if she pushes then say that you have something to do that you dont want to discuss

 

Post # 11
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Friends in from out of town. Anniversary. Little sister’s boyfriend broke up with her. Dog is sick. Apartment flooded. S&M convention.

 

Post # 12
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

ok, read a bit of the other thread. So you invited her to your wedding (which I see was recent), she attended part of your b-party. Now she invites you to her lingerie party but not the wedding, and only two of you at your work aren’t invited? Sorry, but if she’s inviting all co-workers, it wouldn’t have killed her to invite the two of you. She’s rude.

You have other plans that night. Period. Don’t need to tell her what. Why can’t you have plans outside of work? You have the other girl who isn’t invited – say you’re going wine tasting, a play, whatever. Sounds to me like she’s being pretty rude, so unless you think it will make your work environment more stressful (I don’t know how much of your year there is left), just say you are busy that night.

Post # 13
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I vote no on lying and just say you will not be attending.

Post # 15
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hisgoosiegirl:  I agree.  She’s made a total faux pas inviting you to the shower but not the wedding.  Don’t stress yourself coming up with a good excuse not to go.  In your place, I probably would claim I was going to an S&M convention or a spelunking or something.

Post # 16
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Of course you can say you have other plans! (or in formal etiquettese, “a prior engagement”). Plans to wash your hair, spend the night surfing on the internet, skyping your beloved for hours, or whatever, are still “plans”. It would be invasive and nosy for anyone to follow up your polite excuse with “Oh yeah? What plans?” so, if they do happen to be so crude, you are justified in being mysterious and implying that you are having a secret tryst with a handsome exotic lover who just flew in for one night of passion with you.

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