Post # 1
so you can refer to this thread to get the full story:
basically a coworker of mine is getting married, invited everyone in our entire work place except for me and my good friend that also works with us…..BUT she did invite her to her lingerie shower the NIGHT before her wedding!!!
me and my friend do NOT want to attend, let alone buy her a gift. But we are having trouble coming up with an excuse. we both are living here for one year only and do not know anyone outside of work so we can’t say we have other plans. We can’t say we are going out of town because we both work saturday. AND we do not want to be bitchy and just say we don’t want to go!! because we work with these people everyday……so far we have received invites in the mail to this shower AND today we got a facebook invite and the girl getting married came up to tell us to respond on facebook!
so…HELP, what can we say to get out of this!!!!
Post # 3
oh and we think if we both cancel last minute because we are sick, it will look fishy.
Post # 4
Just say you can’t go. You don’t need to give an excuse. Did she give you guys an excuse for not inviting you to the wedding? You are adults, adults don’t have to explain themselves.
Post # 5
I would just say that unfortunately I’m unable to attend. You don’t need to give a reason. I’ve not attended events because I just didn’t feel like it that day but I was gracious enough to say, “Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend.”
Post # 6
I don’t think you even need to come up with an excuse. Just decline on Facebook 🙂
Post # 7
You have a friend from your hometown who’s passing through and it’s the only day you can see her.
Your husband planned a special evening for the 2 of you that night.
You’re not comfortable with a lingerie shower (may or may not work, depending on your personality).
Post # 8
I agree with everyone above, that you don’t need an excuse, but you asked, so I provided some.
Post # 9
I agree with just saying you can’t go, but if you are like me you might feel you need to give an excuse. Are there any theaters in your area or events where you can convincingly say that yourself and co-worker already bought tickets for? Or anything of that sort, something non-refundable?
Post # 10
just say thank you but i cant attend. if she asks why just say its personal and if she pushes then say that you have something to do that you dont want to discuss
Post # 11
Friends in from out of town. Anniversary. Little sister’s boyfriend broke up with her. Dog is sick. Apartment flooded. S&M convention.
Post # 12
ok, read a bit of the other thread. So you invited her to your wedding (which I see was recent), she attended part of your b-party. Now she invites you to her lingerie party but not the wedding, and only two of you at your work aren’t invited? Sorry, but if she’s inviting all co-workers, it wouldn’t have killed her to invite the two of you. She’s rude.
You have other plans that night. Period. Don’t need to tell her what. Why can’t you have plans outside of work? You have the other girl who isn’t invited – say you’re going wine tasting, a play, whatever. Sounds to me like she’s being pretty rude, so unless you think it will make your work environment more stressful (I don’t know how much of your year there is left), just say you are busy that night.
Post # 13
I vote no on lying and just say you will not be attending.
Post # 14
thanks everyone. i read all your replies to my other coworker that also doesnt want to go and she decided she will just RSVP that she can’t go without giving a reason. I am actually working that night until 8pm, and the party is from 7 – 10pm, so i might just say i will come by after and then call and say i am really tired or have a headache or something. me and my friend just want to keep our excuses separate and not make it look like we are doing this together!
@Beluga: @AB Bride: LMAO at some of your suggestions, though!
Post # 15
@hisgoosiegirl: I agree. She’s made a total faux pas inviting you to the shower but not the wedding. Don’t stress yourself coming up with a good excuse not to go. In your place, I probably would claim I was going to an S&M convention or a spelunking or something.
Post # 16
Of course you can say you have other plans! (or in formal etiquettese, “a prior engagement”). Plans to wash your hair, spend the night surfing on the internet, skyping your beloved for hours, or whatever, are still “plans”. It would be invasive and nosy for anyone to follow up your polite excuse with “Oh yeah? What plans?” so, if they do happen to be so crude, you are justified in being mysterious and implying that you are having a secret tryst with a handsome exotic lover who just flew in for one night of passion with you.