(Closed) HELP! I NEED SOME ADVICE (A LIL LONG)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

you two need to have a serious talk. Marriages have ended on maoney way to many times. Or you need to cut him off it sounds bad but if its the only way to stay ahead do what you have to do

Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I dealt with this with my husband. The situations sound similar, I managed the money and paid the bills, while he didn’t listen to our budget and just wanted to spend spend spend. It drove me crazy!

The way that my H and I solved the problem was that I started making him involved with our finances. Once he saw how much every much adds up and how much our bills and income really were, he realized that it wasn’t just me being a bitch and saying “Don’t buy this”, it’s that we actually didn’t have the money.

One thing that helped a lot is we started using Mint.com to track and budget our expenses. Mint links the budget with our bank account so we can realistically see where the money is going almost instantly.

Another thing that helps is instead of telling him what to buy or not to buy, I started teaching him to make decisions himself. So he would suggest going out to dinner and I’d say “ok, we can do that if you want, but we won’t really be able to do anything fun for the next two weeks.” or “If we go out to dinner, then we won’t be able to go to your friend’s birthday party next weekend”.

It isn’t easy, but if you try to stop nagging and teach your Fiance about finances, hopefully he will be willing to learn how to spend wisely. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i agree with @msfahrenheit you need to include him in the finances. you can tell your husband how the finances are but some people are ‘visual’ and need to see the numbers to really get the point.  i would do this every week or month and print it out on paper for him to see.  once he sees that more money is going out than coming in, it might open his eyes.  he is used to living with a larger income so he needs to reprogram himself. 

make a budget.  allot a certain amount of income to your car payment, utilities, cell phones, clothing, groceries, gas & transportation, child, savings, entertainment (eating out, movies, etc) etc.  try to pay cash for everything, it will make it easier to keep track of your spending.  use separate envelopes or jars to put your money in.  so when the entertainment jar is empty, no more take out or movies for that month.

i save every receipt and enter it into my monthly budget (i have a program on exel).  i like to know where the money goes every month.  awareness is key when you are trying to budget.

 

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