(Closed) Help! I need some advice from other brides to be!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Ok so I am going to tell you to do something VERY wrong. But this is what I did. I just stopped communication with one of my BMs (VERY VERY LONG STORY) I deleted her number, she deleted me off of facebook all that jazz. I removed her from my wedding website’s wedding party section and I moved on from her. We never had a formal fight or I never formally addressed her part in my wedding but I dont want her there so she wont be there. I showed only the bms the dress I want them to buy… I communicate wedding plans with only my Bms and not her. The end. she is gone.

Post # 4
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t want her in your wedding party, you need to suck up the courage and tell her.

Otherwise this will be lingering over your head until you deal with it.

Post # 5
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

🙁 I’m so sorry. Definitely have a serious chat with her and let her know gently that she doesn’t have to be in the wedding party if she doesn’t want to.  Give her an out.

Post # 6
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Try talking to her one last time and if nothing changes or if she responds negatively (again), ask her to step down. You wedding is about YOU, and you want to be surrounded by positivity and love. Plus, you don’t want to look at your wedding photos 10 years from now and think “wtf did I ask her to be in the wedding?!?”

Post # 7
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsNeutrino: I go with this. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man who I thought was going to be in my Wedding Party and we had a bad falling out and I just cut off communication, and it was just assumed she wasn’t in the wedding. Thank God.

Post # 8
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that just “deleting someone out of your life” is kind of immature and is the “easy way out”, cuz really, it’s not that hard to send an email or even a text saying, “hey, I don’t think this is working out…”

what if it was just a miscommunication? Or what if they weren’t thinking all the things that you thought they were, and then were like “why did my friend stop talking to me?”

I guess I’m just wondering- instead of just blocking someone, why wouldn’t you just email them and ask, “hey, I heard you were saying these things, and it doesn’t seem to me like you are interested in being in the Wedding Party…”

also, OP, if you cancelled on her even once, and she was already feeling sensitive about something which is not included in your story, then that could make her understandably really hurt…

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