Post # 1
Ok, so here is the issue. A good friend of mine and I had a pretty bad falling out a while ago,we didn’t speak for almost a yr and in that time she REALLY changed(and I was very unaware) but eventually we started talking again and were trying to get our friendship back on track when I got engaged. I was so excited that I couldn’t help but ask her to be in the wedding(Not realizing JUST how different she was). Since that time (about 7 months ago) I have realized that we really just AREN’T friends…I’m not mad at her but she has turned very trashy(Pam Anderson style) and her mouth is the same(for example, talking about porn on Facebook). She didn’t come to my engagement party(which she didn’t bother to tell anyone until FOUR days before the party) because she had plans with her boyfriend. Then her plans got cancelled and she made OTHER plans. I confronted her about it and told her that my feelings were hurt. She was pretty rude about it and basically said too bad. She then told one of my other bridesmaids that I was being “sensitive” We have not spoken since then. We have text, and were suppose to do lunch but I ended up having to work so I had to cancel on her. I haven’t heard back from her since then. I REALLY do not want her in my wedding but have NO idea how to go about it?????We haven’t talked now in almost 2 months and this person is suppose to be in my wedding??????? HELP! PLEASE!!! 🙂 Thanks Bees! 🙂
Post # 3
Ok so I am going to tell you to do something VERY wrong. But this is what I did. I just stopped communication with one of my BMs (VERY VERY LONG STORY) I deleted her number, she deleted me off of facebook all that jazz. I removed her from my wedding website’s wedding party section and I moved on from her. We never had a formal fight or I never formally addressed her part in my wedding but I dont want her there so she wont be there. I showed only the bms the dress I want them to buy… I communicate wedding plans with only my Bms and not her. The end. she is gone.
Post # 4
If you don’t want her in your wedding party, you need to suck up the courage and tell her.
Otherwise this will be lingering over your head until you deal with it.
Post # 5
🙁 I’m so sorry. Definitely have a serious chat with her and let her know gently that she doesn’t have to be in the wedding party if she doesn’t want to. Give her an out.
Post # 6
Try talking to her one last time and if nothing changes or if she responds negatively (again), ask her to step down. You wedding is about YOU, and you want to be surrounded by positivity and love. Plus, you don’t want to look at your wedding photos 10 years from now and think “wtf did I ask her to be in the wedding?!?”
Post # 7
@MrsNeutrino: I go with this. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man who I thought was going to be in my Wedding Party and we had a bad falling out and I just cut off communication, and it was just assumed she wasn’t in the wedding. Thank God.
Post # 8
I think that just “deleting someone out of your life” is kind of immature and is the “easy way out”, cuz really, it’s not that hard to send an email or even a text saying, “hey, I don’t think this is working out…”
what if it was just a miscommunication? Or what if they weren’t thinking all the things that you thought they were, and then were like “why did my friend stop talking to me?”
I guess I’m just wondering- instead of just blocking someone, why wouldn’t you just email them and ask, “hey, I heard you were saying these things, and it doesn’t seem to me like you are interested in being in the Wedding Party…”
also, OP, if you cancelled on her even once, and she was already feeling sensitive about something which is not included in your story, then that could make her understandably really hurt…