Help! I ruined my proposal.

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 61
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Temescal Lake House

Well I do see what you mean about it being set low. I do believe in total and open communication. I do think you should have waited a bit. But, it’s obviously too late for that. So for now, realize that he is just feeling hurt right now. Give it some time and bring it up later. Congratulations on your baby and engagement:) 

Post # 62
373 posts
Helper bee

I’ll tell you this, the past is neither here nor there, but his feelings are not sensitive and it’s a shame that the other bees are harsh on him about it. He was genuinely eager to finally present the ring, propose and finally be engaged to you, to then have the ring (which I know it not cheap) be criticized so quickly after the fact, he felt let down and his ego/feelings were crushed as it showed to him (though of course not the truth) that all you cared about was the ring. Hindsight is 20/20, should have could have would haves, I do know where you are coming from, you are the one that will be looking at the ring and will be on your hand 24/7 it does need to be as perfect to your specifications as possible.

Let me tell you what happened to me. After my Fiance and I finally set a budget, we went ring shopping, looked all over for settings and diamonds, ended up getting a setting ordered and diamond selected, the jeweler emailed the pics of the completed ring. I was not going to see the ring, I had told my Fiance that I just wanted to email him the info, we could pick it up together, and when he proposed then I’d see it. Thank God I couldn’t help myself, the setting was wrong. I spoke with my Fiance, and he had a reaction a bit like yours, not as hurt since the proposal hadn’t happened and the complete amount hadn’t been paid – his argument being that we had selected the diamond (the diamond was the issue, we were given wrong specs) yada yada yada, but I implored and showed pics that it was not right, indicated how it should have been, how much it was all going to cost to then not have it right, and that we would both be unhappy with a bad product. We finally agreed to email him back with our issues, the jeweler responded positively and within 4 days emailed back with a perfect diamond and fixed setting at no charge.

I do see that you are having the band switch and your comment of the concern of the cathedral setting, which I think would make you feel better. Go out to some mall jewelry stores and try out to see how those settings feel so that you can get an idea. I have hard that JA does provide very good service so best of luck to you. It’s true what other posters have said, months/years from now you’ll look back at this as another story to your long life together.

Post # 63
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

your ring is beautiful!

I lost the ring my husband proposed to me with. 🙁 and even though he bought me another one he didn’t care. He said the first ring would always have the memories of him proposing. 

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