(Closed) help I seriously need advise!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ShelbyCote:  

Ok, first. Wall of text. Break that baby up into paragraphs

Second-from your post I’d say you guys are still teenagers, am I right? Getting married is a big BIG commitment that even grown men have issues making (go check out the waiting boards)

I think you need to slow your roll. He’ll propose when he’s ready. You only get one proposal from the man you love- let him make it magical.

 

And this is from someone who waited 18 months AFTER her Fiance bought the ring. I knew he had it for 18 months. Think about that.

So, I know what I’m saying. It’s hard, but just wait. Let it be on his terms.

Post # 4
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ShelbyCote:  He’s still in high school?  How old are you both?

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow, this is really difficult to read… I would add some paragraphs.

 

Why are you rushing to get married? It seems like you are in a big rush and your boyfriend is not really on the same page. Seems to me like your pressuring him a bit.

my effing ex just got married too and that is killing me because i want to be married adn everyoone else including my sister are engaged. help i dont know what to think.

This is not the right mind set; just because everyone else is getting married does not mean that you must be getting married as well.

I would cool your jets and have a nice long convo with your boyfriend to find out exactly how he feels about the situation.

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m going to do my best here, because your post is a little hard to follow.

My first question would be how long have you been together? When I was in high school I was sure I was going to marry the guy I was dating. Thankfully, we broke up and I am dating a wonderful man who treats me right. Now, I’m not saying you guys are going to break up or you aren’t dating the right guy and what have you. I am just sharing my experience of wanting to be engaged right out of high school.

If you are sure he is the one, why not wait until you are done with college and are more finanically stable?

One of the last things you say is that you are upset that your EX got married. Exes are exes for a reason. Don’t compare your relationship to his. It isn’t fair to the relationship that you and your boyfriend have now.

All that being said, every relationship moves at a different pace. If you know, you know and you are going to be willing to wait. I’ve been dating my guy for 2 1/2 years and I can’t imagine not being with him so I am willing to wait until he is ready to propose. Yes, it sucks but I am don’t want to force him into marriage if he isn’t ready.

Enjoy your relationship. Things will fall into place as they are supposed to.

Post # 7
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t feel like you need to rush into an engagement because it seems like everyone else is. You’re young. And that’s okay. But no need to rush and a breakup certainly shouldn’t be over a ring. It’s what the ring stands for that is important.

Post # 8
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

I am SOOOO glad I didn’t marry anyone i was dating in highschool!  I took time and dated, went to college and established a career.  

I agree with the others. Take your time.  Enjoy your life.  There’s more out there than just marriage sweetie.  Trust me – I’m 38, divorced, with 2 kids. ENJOY YOUR LIFE before it’s OVER! 

 

Post # 9
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

A: You’re seriously way young. I know that some people find “the one” when they’re young, high school sweethearts and all that, but you don’t even know who you are yet, how are you supposed to know how to act in a marriage? Besides, your sweetheart hasn’t (?) graduated yet. Short relationships are one thing. Being physically young is another.

B: You’re rushing things. What’s the rush? Literally, you have the rest of your life to spend with this boy if he is the one for you. Cool your jets — life is far too short to go flashing through it as fast as you possibly can.

 

Edit: I’m going to be that person because I am that person…. High school. English Class. Please, please please please please learn something. English and knowing how to communicate properly, knowing how to form functional sentences and paragraphs is important. For the love for FSM, please pay attention to this.

Post # 10
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It sounds like you want to get married to someone who just graduated high school after dating for 14 months because your ex got married and your sister is engaged. I thought I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. We dated 3.5 years and broke up when we were going to college, thank god.

Just take a step back and realize that there is a wide world out there.

Post # 11
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ShelbyCote:  Why are you mentioning your ex at all? He shouldn’t even come into this discussion.

 

Sounds like you might be young and in a honeymoon phase to me. What’s the rush? He’s had good excuses as to why things have’t happened, and instead of being supportive, you’ve said you almost left him.

 

Sounds like you are too young to be getting married. I don’t think it sound slike you’re ready yet.

Post # 12
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This is kind of painful to read.

You my love are far too young. Do you honestly want to marry a man who obviously not ready to get married? You need to step back and look at yourself and your future with this man and stop pressing the issue becuase your sisters and ex are married/engaged.

Post # 13
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just by reading your post shows that your mentality is of a teenager. To say you just want yo be married because your ex and everyone else is either married or getting engaged is a immature way of thinking. Which shows you are mentally not ready to get married. I’m not trying to sound mean or harsh, just being honest. You still need life experience, go to college, travel… I’m not saying your bf is not the one or you should break up, I just think marriage is too soon right now. If its meant to be, you can wait a few years, he’s not going anywhere. 

Who will be paying for the wedding? where will you live? Its not just about being engaged and getting married. You need to have financial stability. 

Post # 14
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

Okay, I am going to try not to sound like a total “B” word. First, you are WAY to young. I am 20 and graduated 3 years ago. My senior year I was not thinking about marriage and the rest of my life. You need to lay off of him. He hasn’t even graduated yet. Geesh. Second, why the rush? You have your WHOLE life! Relax and enjoy being young. Marriage is not rainbows and snow cones. I have been married a couple months and trust me it is work. I want to shake you and say what the hell are you thinking.

Post # 15
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

@echolove:  Very well said!

 

Plus, at my age (20) and being married, I wish I would have waited a little longer. Not because my Darling Husband isn’t the one but because marriage is a HUGE responsiblity and not something to be taken lightly.

 

YOU ARE TRYING TO PLAY HOUSE.

Post # 16
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@pinkzebra:  I need to stop posting today because I am in a mood! Everything that comes out of my mouth is sounding rather “B” ish! Haha

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