(Closed) HELP! I think i made a major mistake and i feel SO stupid!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How can I make up that I included registry cards with the invites when i now know i shouldn't have?
    Nothing. What's done is done. If i say anything, it will only make me look more stupid : (78 votes)
    90 %
    Apologize to guests individually that it was an oversight and I am not expecting anything : (4 votes)
    5 %
    Send a group email to guests (BCC) to explain and apologize : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Other: explain below : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would just not say anything about it.  Most people know that you don’t expect a gift for attending the wedding.

    Post # 4
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Sassy5412: it’s okay, seriously a lot of people don’t even know or think that it is considered “Tacky” to do that.

    I voted for the first one but you should take the part about you looking more stupid out! Don’t be so hard on yourself!

    Post # 5
    1 posts
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Don’t sweat it!   If it makes you feel any better, the date on our invitations is spelled wrong…

    Post # 6
    7689 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper


    I wouldn’t worry about it.  I had never heard of honeymoon registries before WB, so it is probably a good thing, otherwise I would have planned on buying something for your home-because I don’t usually give a cash gift.  I think I would like to give some money toward a honeymoon, because if I get a couple a gift (if they don’t have a particular store registry) then I would wonder if I picked out something they liked! Also not all older people would know about going to a wedding website.  Don’t beat yourself up-if somebody doesn’t like it too bad for them.   🙂

    Post # 7
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    Whoops!  Innocent mistake!  I think you could just pass the word to your friends and family that you didn’t realize the error until after they had been sent!

    Post # 8
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t think it’s stupid at all and you said yourself that you have received a lot of invitations that include registry information. So it could be a regional thing, and people might get pissed if you didn’t inclue them. I don’t think a lot of people will care or even think too much about it. And at the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. Try not to worry about it too much.

    Post # 9
    1014 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    What’s done is done, and you didn’t do it with the intent of gift grabbing, so don’t beat yourself up about it.  True, etiquette wise it’s considered improper, but as a pp said, it’s commonly done today in some social circles, so I doubt anyone will judge you on it.  If they do, they probably don’t know that you’re a nice person, who just didn’t know any better.  If anyone does say anything about it, which i’m sure they won’t, just apologize and say you didn’t realize until they were sent.  I’m sure it’ll be fine!!   🙂

    Post # 10
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Do nothing, but on your wedding website, above your registry section, you can add

    something to the effect of “your presence is the greatest gift” or something like that.

    Post # 12
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted “what’s done is done”, but don’t agree with the stupid part.

    If anybody confronts you, just laugh it off, and be like… “Haha, can you tell this is my first wedding?  My planner said to put them in, and I had no idea it was bad etiquette”. 

    Our registry person gave us a bunch of inserts too and told us that everybody puts them in. 

    Post # 13
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I put our registry info on our wedding website, not in our invites, but if I got an invitation with a registry card in it I wouldn’t be offended at all. I know it’s not proper “etiquette” but it also saves me the step of finding out where you are registered via MOH/parents/wedding website, whatever. I wouldn’t sweat it and I certainly wouldn’t call yourself stupid over it! No biggie.

    Post # 14
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. You didn’t know, maybe a few etiquette sticklers will notice but it’s by no means the end of the world. 

    Post # 15
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I live in an area where they do this frequently and I never would have known it was controversial if I hadn’t read it on here. I hate that stores and other places say “hey put this in the invitation so everyone will know” and then we find out that we aren’t supposed to!

    I say don’t worry about it and you aren’t stupid. I, actually, appreciate it when I get those little cards.

    The topic ‘HELP! I think i made a major mistake and i feel SO stupid!’ is closed to new replies.

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