- 8 years ago
Urgh, I think I have really said the wrong thing. I was talking at home with my boyfriend this morning and said, “so, Kate will have gone on her trip today, but she hasn’t replied to my email so we may not hear from her for a while.” “Who’s Kate?” he asked. Kate is the lady who is helping us to look for and design an engagement ring!
This made he feel he has not paid any attention to my discussions about Kate, and I felt upset. He wants me to choose my own engagement ring which is lovely but I just want to choose the general style. Then I want him to go and do research, find a diamond, contact jewellers like Kate…you know, all this legwork.
I’ve already told him this. I feel uncomfortable being the one making contact with jewellers and doing research about diamonds – I want him to do it! Otherwise it’s just like buying a ring for myself, and it won’t be special.
So I said to him “it would really mean a lot to me if you were more involved in the ring shopping process. It doesn’t really matter what it looks like so long as it’s a gift from you.” His response was to say “you know that’s not true, I know you want a ring that you really like, and only you can choose it.”
Now he is offended and hurt. I think he thinks I was being ungrateful to question the ring shopping process and ask for more of his input. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.
Did I say the wrong thing? What can I do to explain to him that I want him to put more effort in? My dream is for HIM to learn all about diamonds, and rings, and think about me and what I would like, and choose something for me. To me this is what will make the ring special.