(Closed) Help! I'm torn between my wedding ideas and an 8 yr old

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I’m confused. Why isn’t Maid/Matron of Honor a special enough label for your daughter? Standing up next to you is WAY more important than dropping petals. And she gets to do BOTH! The other girl just gets to drop the petals. Imagining I was 8, I think I’d feel pretty darn special to be the freaking MAID of HONOR! AND flowergirl! How much more special is there?

Post # 17
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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Rsallythatgrl2:  It really is ok to say NO to kids.  It builds character, lol.

Post # 18
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

Someone may be putting her up to it. I’d have a chat with her mother, after you talk to your stepdaughter about it.

I have a niece who’s been campaigning to be a flower girl half her life – thankfully, she’ll be in high school next year. I’m sure her mother is egging her on, since she does it with everything else. She offered her services, as a flowergirl, to another niece and my daughter, and tried to get her grandmother to get involved.  Kids weren’t invited to either wedding. I agree about not negotiating with kids.

Post # 20
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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Rsallythatgrl2:  oh for Pete’s sake just tell her no already. I promise the universe won’t cease to exist if some kid doesn’t get her way.

Post # 21
Member
4144 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Really? She’s 8, you just explain to her that you are going to have your FH’s daughter as your Flower Girl. You don’t let her push you around!

Post # 22
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

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Rsallythatgrl2:  Whoaaaaaaaaaa. Somehow I missed the fact that this friend’s daughter is a brat! Forget what I wrote before. Tell her no.

Post # 23
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee

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Rsallythatgrl2:  The sooner you squash this, the better. It will be worse the longer she thinks she gets to be a part of your day. I would ask your step daughter in a private and special way and explain to her that she is one of the most important people in your world. If she asks about her friend, just say that while she is invited as a guest, step daughter is more special or something. And when you see the other little girl next, you can either a) wait for her to mention that she is a flower girl and just say “Oh, I’m sorry, just Step daughter is a flower girl.” or b) bring it up yourself and tell her, calmly that she is not a flower girl. Nip it in the butt!

Post # 24
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

“Little Brat, stepdaughter gets to be the flower girl in my wedding, and you get to be the flower girl in your grandpa’s wedding. Maybe you will think twice before calling me ugly.” The end. (minus the brat and ugly parts. 8 year olds are perfectly capable of surviving the minor disappointment of not being a flower girl. If she continues to throw a sh*t fit, maybe she shouldn’t attend the wedding at all.

Post # 26
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

 

Rsallythatgrl2:  Yep, I’d make it immediate family kids only  – stepdaughter and nephews – and that’s it.

Post # 27
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

sounds like spoilt behaviour! You have who you want and thats it! She gets to be the only flower girl in her grandpas wedding so yours gets to be the only one at yours?!!!

Post # 28
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

They’re eight. In a couple of years, chances are that they won’t even be friends let alone consider themselves to be “sisters.” Do you really want to be bullied into doing something by an eight year old and have this little girl in your wedding pictures forever?

Post # 29
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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Rsallythatgrl2:  let them both be the flower girl or maybe have one hold a sign saying here come your bride I am going to do something similar

Post # 30
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I was all on-board with “let her be a flower girl” until she turned out to be rather entitled.  She needs to be taken down a peg- nicely though, she’s still only 8.

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