(Closed) Help! I'm torn between my wedding ideas and an 8 yr old

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 31
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The only thing I would be careful of is the “trauma bond” this girl may have forged with your almost-daughter in order to better bond with you, her mother replacement.

I would make sure your step-daughter’s feelings are heard and that she dosn’t feel builled by her friend into including her.  I would also ensure that the girl was included somehow, say a lesser duty like handing out programs, perhaps under the supervison of her mother to ensure that she dosn’t get too high and mighty.

Post # 32
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

#When I was a kid my uncles and aunts were all getting married so I was a flower girl in a LOT of weddings.  my favorite was the one where my cousin was co-FG with me, we had so much fun.  ask yourself whether she might enjoy someone with her – though she will be in a SUPER special position because she will be a flower girl + a Maid/Matron of Honor – you won’t be taking that away.  


again, when i was little i preferred a buddy.  3 of my aunts/ uncles got married between the time i was 4-6 and I waw a Flower Girl in all of them and my fondest memories come from the wedding where there was another Flower Girl with me 🙂

Post # 33
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

One of my friends has an adorable 7 year old who I really like. She went to a family wedding the year before mine where she was a flower girl and then each time I saw her she wanted to show me her flower basket and how well she did and how pretty she looked. Neither her nor her mother ever said it directly but I know she was after being in our wedding. In the end I just emphasised that our wedding was really small and I was only having my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and DH’s niece as a Flower Girl.

As it turned out, they decided they couldn’t afford to come to her wedding after all. I never worked out if it was because of the Flower Girl thing, or that they really couldn’t afford it, in which case I totally did the right thing by saying no!

Stick to your guns!!!

Post # 34
73 posts
Worker bee

Where is this little girl’s mother in all this, your former friend? I dont think you should ever negotiate with kids. If you dont want her in your wedding you should not feel like you need to justify it to her or her mother. She is a child….she will get over it. I honestly dont even think you should be entertain this, or explain why she cant be one to her. Just ignore her, continue your wedding as planned with only you daughter as the MOH/FG. If thats what you envisioned and thats what you want then dont be bullied by a 8 year old. 

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