- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Ugh undercover. Forgive me if the formatting is bad but posting from a phone is hard. My FI brought up the other day that he feels I don’t initiate sex often lately. I was happy he was opening up to me and talking about it. And I actually agreed with him. He told me he was willing to be patient and waiting for me to be comfortable bc he thought it was related to body image issues. When he was done talking I explained to him that I am actually feeling really comfortable in my own skin and I have a high sex drive, but the lack of initiation comes from several factors. The first one I wanted to discuss with him is that when I did initiate sex he was not very responsive so we would have sex but it wouldnt’t be passionate it was boring bc I felt like we were two separate ppl having sex no connection. Or what would happen is that since he didnt reciprocate I couldn’t tell if he wanted to have sex or not and I wouldn’t go further.
When I said this to him he told me he didn’t want to have to re assure me and that he doesn’t want to worry about how I’m feeling. So I tired to explain to him that their was still more to how I felt about it in general but he cut me off and said that’s what he wanted and we were talking about his needs so I shouldn’t talk about mine. After that I just shut down about bc i felt ignored and just said I’d think about what he told me. I feel really brused aside.
I didn’t say anything for a while bc I felt I was angry at that point to have a productive conversation. I feel that I wanted to have a discussion how we could both find a way to meet his needs and he didn’t want to hear it. Am I being a baby for feeling brushed aside??? Also part of the reason that I haven’t been in the mood lately is bc I feel ignored. He is super busy and I am not asking for much but some attention here ans there would be nice. Also my love language is acts of service and he doesnt make time for those sorts of things. I’ve even told him just leaving me a quick love note would make me feel loved. He will do it once and then ignore me until I get really upset about it again and he does it to cheer me up. I wish he did it before I got upset and he didnt do them as an apology. Any advice bees?