(Closed) Help! Invite only one of little sister's friends? (kinda long)

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If it was me – I would just invite Maya as she is the one I have the bond with. I am sure the others will understand why she was invited and they weren’t.

Post # 4
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m a 3 time MOB with 4 girls of my own and it is so sweet to see how much your sister means to you.  Having been a 3 time MOB and 2 time bride I am going to suggest that you keep that guest list as a very fluid document.  You have a long time until your wedding and I can promise you that relationships will change, you will have guests who might get married or engaged during that time, etc.

It is great to come up with a basic guest list for now, but if you set a hard and fast number this far out and set your guest list now I can promise you in a year or so you guys are going to want to add or subtract people, who’s going to get cut, all that stuff.  A basic idea is great, but please don’t set it in stone so far out.

As far as your sister, it is find to invite Maya as you have a long standing relationship with her and I am sure your sister would be thrilled to have her there.  Your guest list is for you and your Fiance, not your sister’s social clique, so do not treat her friends any differently than anyone else you would consider inviting.  Invite based on friendship and relationship to you and Fiance.

You sound like an awesome big sister!

Post # 5
Member
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maya is your friend. The others aren’t. Maya has vacationed with you. The others haven’t. There is no problem inviting just Maya. Even in high school, “groups” do not need to do everything together.

Post # 7
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee

Just invite Maya. Who knows, in 2-3 years they might not be friends with all the other girls anymore. High school does funny things to friendships.

Post # 8
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Invite just maya, I think the other will understand since you 2 are very close and you don’t know the other girls as well.

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you are overthinking it, I doubt these girls are going to care about your wedding it’s probably not even on their radar. I am assuming that you will invite Maya and her family as it seems you are close bunch. By that age I’m sure these will be able to comprehend that your family has a different relationship to her.

Post # 10
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t stress yourself out thinking about this now. It’s incredibly likely that your friendships and relationships will change in the next two years.

Post # 11
Member
6535 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You just invite Maya and her family. Your family has a close relationship with her family

 

My sister was 13 at my wedding. I gave her the option to invite a friend (we had no kids kids, other than her no one was under like 23) but she said she didn’t want to. I asked her a couple more times, just to double check and she still didn’t want to. In our case she loves to hang with us girls, and I think she probably thought her friend would get in the way. It actually worked out fine, because had she brought a friend I would of had to invite the parents. They’re only 13 so they don’t drive, and sister was busy w/ us getting ready all day – and my parents didn’t need to worry with being responsible for someone’s kid. 

Post # 12
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost, as you are NEW to WBee… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Great advice here from all the other Bees.

As an Etiquette Snob, I am gonna agree however with the post by starfish0116: as the one most fitting…

Maya and her family have a relationship with you and your family… they should ALL be invited.  (And that precident was set when they came to your Mom’s Wedding). 

Not to mention the fact that Maya will still be a minor at 14 or 15, minors should be accompanied socially (the Etiquette part).

There is no need to invite any of the other girls because YOU don’t have a relationship with them.  And well this isn’t your little sister’s event… it is yours (sweet of you to however care about her feelings, and how having a BFF there will be nice for her)

Also, agree with hermom: it is good to get a ball-park number going now (cannot hurt… more so if you are in “saving” mode) BUT that your Guest List will no doubt change many times over between now and the Invites actually go out as life changes… and circumstances… not unusual for a couple to believe they want one kind of wedding, only to find out when up to their necks in planning, that things must change do to budget, timing etc.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 14
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @MrsJenningsToBe:  YES the “right thing to do” would be to invite them all… (Parents & 4 Girls). 

BUT if money was tight, you too would be within your rights to just have Maya & her Parents… but if it caused “hard feelings” for your family to have not everyone invited… then it probably would do the same for them.

Something to think about.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 15
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsJenningsToBe:  

no just invite maya,i dont see why you would worry yourself over inviting other kids you dont know.this is a wedding,not a bbq and im sure your sister will have more friends by then and a couple of the friends she now hangs with wont be around by then anyway 🙂

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