Post # 1
Since we started university together, my fiance and I share the same main group of friends and although we each have one or two good friends outside of this group, we spend the majority of our time with these people so obviously, we want them to be at our wedding.
The problem is, since this group of friends was formed a few years ago, people have come and gone, some hang out more often and some aren’t always around which is fine normally …. but when it comes to the wedding, it’s starting to become a problem.
While the core of the group (probably 6 or 7 people) are definitely going to be in attendance at the wedding (especially since 2 of the girls are my bridesmaids) … there’s a few friends of our friends who have starting attending our get-togethers whom my fiance and I aren’t close to.
While I know I don’t really want them at our wedding… (1. because we’re not super close with them & 2. because we’re having a small wedding with a guest list we’re really trying to crack down on) … I’m afraid these people will be offended that they’re not invited because we do hang out with them pretty often.
I’m also concerned that other members of the group might also be offended because they’re closer with these people than my fiance and I are. I know, I know, it’s our wedding, haha … but still, we see these people a lot and I don’t want it to cause a weird vibe in any post-wedding get-togethers.
I realize I might just have to bite the bullet and get over the fact that they will probably be hurt that they’re not invited, I was hoping some people on here might be experiencing the same problem or have any advice on how to deal with it? Thanks for any help you can give!
Post # 3
I received an email from a college friend announcing her engagement (this was about a year ago), and at the end of it, she briefly said, “We wanted to share this news with all of you, because we love you all, but it looks like our wedding is going to be on the smaller side, so we are trying to keep it to family and our very closest friends.” She didn’t specify who would be invited, etc (I was, but couldn’t attend), but I felt like it was a good heads up to people. It was just to a group of close friends, like you’re describing, too, so it wasn’t like spam mail.
Post # 4
I have this issue too and I’m kind of just sucking it up and inviting people in the group of friends that I’m not as close to anymore in the hopes that they won’t come. I’m not thrilled with the situation but it is what it is. I don’t feel like dealing with the drama.
Post # 5
Yeah, we have this issue as well. And we’ll end up inviting the people that we’re not that close to. We decided that it’d be better to do that then to have some kind of awkward social situation. I’m sure most of these people won’t show up and there will be no hard feelings if they don’t, but at least they won’t feel slighted. We considered the possibility that maybe they would never find out that some where invited but they weren’t- that’s not likely at all though. Chances are they won’t feel right going anyway in your case as well. Good luck!
Post # 6
This is why I am having a semi-destination wedding: you can invite more people, because a much lower percentage will come.
One of my friends recently got married, and her husband hangs out with my FI’s group of male friends. I got to know her well and was invited, but none of the other SOs of the group were. One guy decided not to go as a result, and two came. Honestly, it hasn’t been a big deal. Just be up front about it, let them know you wish you could invite them, but you just don’t have the space.
Post # 7
I think that as long as your honest and are like “we only had so much room” they’ll deal with it better than if you don’t give any reason at all…