- 12 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
My story is a little long, but if anyone can help with some advice, or words of wisdom, it would be really appreciated.
Heres my story (short version). My fiance and I got engaged just over a year ago. We opted for a long engagement for a few reasons, the venue we wanted was afordable in the winter, and we were in our friend’s wedding last fall. We didn’t want to cram wedding planning into 8 months AND be in our friends wedding 2 months before ours, out of respect. So we booked for Jan of 2011.
Well, it’s 8 months before our wedding now. 4 months ago my little sister announced that shes getting married in June (to a man she stated dating two wks prior). And last week announced that shes pregnant and due in Nov. Which is lovely, I’m excited to be an aunt. But I also feel like the “spotlight” is no longer on me, nor will it be at my wedding. She’ll have the 2 month old there with her, and thats that. Not to mention she chose her friend as her Maid/Matron of Honor instead of me, after I had asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. And now I know theres no rule saying her had to pick me, but we’re very close and it hurt when she didn’t. And now I never hear from her anymore, and my heart just breaks over the whole thing.
My best friend also announed in Dec that she got engaged (to the guy she had been dating for a month) and they booked their wedding in Oct, 2 months before mine. I am her Maid/Matron of Honor, which is awesome, and I’m so happy that their getting married. But as you might imagine, I just feel like instead of having my girls by my side, being happy for me and planning things with me, they’re all too busy with thier own stuff to care. Yeah poor me, whatever, but I’m sure a few other out there might feel the same if they were in this position.
So, here I am. I have my venue booked, my dress bought and our honeymoon booked. Our projected budget is pretty big, and my father is insisting on being traditional and absorbing most of the cost. I’m falttered by this, but a big part of me feels guilty accepting that kind of money. Plus, my sister and her fiance are having him pay for everything in their wedding, and now having a baby I’m sure he’ll be picking up alot of bills. They have nothing in savings, and if they can’t afford a wedding, how are they going to afford a baby?!
Well, 2 wks ago me and Fiance were on vaca (easter carribbean cruise). And he brought up the idea of switching the wedding to our honeymoon resort. I totally jumped on the band wagon and thought it would be the most romantic thing ever. We have 2 wks booked in Jamaica at 2 different Sandals resorts. If we decide to have the wedding there, theres minimal additional costs, just food for the guests, everything else is already included. So even if dad still wants to foot the bill, it’s a fraction of what we’re planning on by having it at home.
Now we’re in limbo. my fiance brought up the point that I may be excited to do this b/c of my feelings with my sister right now. And he’s worried I may regret not having the big traditional wedding. … I hand’t thought about it that way and now I’m second guessing myself. I know this isn’t wedding jitters, all I want is to marry the man of my dreams. The wedding is just a party…. I guess at this point I’m just nervous how many people will be upset with us for inconvienencing them to travel to be at our wedding. I’m sure most our friends wont go, and now with the baby I wonder if my sister even would! Sandals is adult only, I don’t know how to work around that. Plus, we would have to spend that first week entertaining the people who DID come. Which isn’t sooo bad, we still have the 2nd week as a true honeymoon.
*sigh….* Any thoughts or input? Please? Am I crazy? Selfish? Wrong?