(Closed) Help! Is it rude to include where we’re registered on a reception card?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, it’s rude to mention gifts in the invitation suite (invitiation itself, reception card, etc).  You should make sure your parents know where you’re registered and spread that through word of mouth.  Crate and Barrel isn’t an obscure store, so it shouldn’t be that hard for people to find!

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Yes. You don’t need to worry about people figuring it out. They will.

1. Most people will probably give you cash or checks anyway

2. Older people–the ones most likely to gift well and be offended by you mentioning the registry–are accustomed to asking the bride’s and groom’s parents where the couple is registered.

3. Young people know how to use the internet to find your website and/or registries, and most go to something like theknot.com so they can search mutliple databases at once.

Also, Crate & Barrel is a pretty popular registry place.

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it depends on what is the norm in your social circle — where we are at, it would be very odd if the registry was NOT included in the invitation somewhere.  That is just the standard practice around here, I have never gotten an invitation that didn’t have it included somewhere.

Post # 6
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Our wedding web site will be printed on the guest info card (directions/accommodations)  included in our invite, and our registries are listed on the web site. No mention of gifts should be included in the invite itself.

 

Post # 7
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s perfectly fine, especially since your from the midwest, I am also and it’s very common to have the registry information included with the invitation.  I know that all 3 wedding invites I received last year had a line or card that stated where they were registered at.  No one here except relatives would ask my parents where I’m registered and not everyone has a website or thinks to look there.  So I included a card with mine to help those who don’t know my family as well. 

Post # 8
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I will be including our registry information within our invitation. While it’s frowned upon here, every invitation I’ve ever received has included registry information. I, personally, have concluded it depends upon where you’re from. I started a topic about it: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/where-to-put-our-registry-information

A majority of who we’re inviting does not have the internet and are older (so ordering online or going to a wedding website would not reach many of our guests). Plus, going under the assumption that people will ask around is expecting too much of people. For example, FI’s family doesn’t communicate with each other and goes months without talking to each other, even when they need information. It’s so frustrating. The theory of asking the groom and brides’ mother won’t work for us, since FI’s Mom passed away a year ago and my Mom is disabled and can’t speak and hear well, and my Dad is disabled as well and not good at remembering information. And I think it’d be tackier on our part if Fiance or I were to mention our registeries when talking with our invitees.

We plan on including a line that gifts are not required, but if one is so inclined to get us a gift, here’s where we’re registered.

In the end, do what’s best for you. That’s my theory.

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I personally would leave it off and have family members (parents) spread it by word of mouth.  But to each their own when it comes to their own wedding.

Post # 10
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think so. We have had many invites from friends and family include the registery info but its usually on its own separate card.

Post # 11
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@78science:  Agree.

I have never received an invitation without registry information. I don’t find it rude, I want to know all the details, and if they’re in the same envelope WHO CARES lol

Post # 12
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@luv2shop08:  Uh, I’m from the midwest too (Michigan) and I’ve never seen registry information included on the invite.

OP, it’s considered rude to include registry information on the invite because it implies that you assume/expect gifts from your guests.  Being from the midwest doesn’t change that.  If people want to give you a physical gift, then they’ll ask you or a family member.  Also, if you have a wedding website, you can put your registry info there.

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, it is.

Post # 14
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Gifts are a standard at showers and weddings. People expect to give and receive at these events. Why make it hard for people and follow some made up rule that people just say is rude? People complain all the time on this board about not receiving gifts from those who attended their wedding. Why is it rude to tell people where you would like a gift from? If that’s rude, then so is a registry. Let’s be a new generation of women (and men), and simply acknowledge that gifts are exchanged at life changing events. Making it easy for guests to buy you a gift is a nice thing to do. Some “etiquette rules” are ridiculous.

Post # 16
Member
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We went with a wedding website that had links to the registries on it, as a PP mentioned. I have noticed that all of the 5 or 6 wedding invites we have received have done the same thing.  It is “against” etiquette rules to include registry info directly with your invites, but listing the wedding website is a way around it.  It’s also nice to have the wedding website to answer questions about logistics and specifics too…You will get 5 million questions about everything in the weeks leading up to your wedding, and the easiest thing to do is direct them to the website.  We had everything on there – registries, hotels, directions, etc.

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