- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Thank you for the thoughtful replies. Having thought about this for a while, I’ve come to some conclusions. I think my situation is more unconventional than if I was living in the States. Many of my friends are coming from overseas and all over the country. They don’t have my mother’s contact info. I’m also arriving back home so late that I’m not having a shower.
That was one ettiquette norm that didn’t make sense to me (that for shower invites, you must include registry info, but for a wedding it is uncouth?)
The fact that we are living overseas and don’t know our plans for next year has complicated the wedding and gift situation. I may be living somewhere as far away as South Korea or I may be at home. For this reason, the groom and I even considered having no registry at all. The groom and I even considered including “in lieu of gifts the couple blah blah blah” but we decided not to.We settled on a very small registry. We hope people who know us will use common sense. I have also included items on the registry from all price ranges, so I think mentioning where we are registered isn’t the same as demanding an expensive gift. (Several of the gifts are 5-10 dollars.)
My friends are busy. I think including a small card with the registry info is the most convenient way possible to make them aware of where we are registered. We are also only registered to one place, so the typical wedding siutation with guests just popping into the local department store and typing in our names isn’t going to happen.
Why are wedding gifts the white elephant in the room no one is allowed to mention but everyone expects? Why is it considered rude to mention where we are registered but conversely also rude to attend a wedding without bringing a gift? Is this really what we’re going to sit around spending our time worrying about?
I understand in certain social circles, this is uncouth, but perhaps my midwest practicality is over-riding that. Including the info on a small card in the invite seems to be the most common-sense solution.