- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
I’m just looking for a little advice/opinions. This is also v. long…so maybe it’s just my need to vent. My sister is my Matron of Honor (I’m having my Boyfriend or Best Friend be my Maid-of-honor, it works out well b/c my sis is actually a mother). So a little background, I think I’m having a harder time with my sister b/c I think she’s been a little pushy since I got engaged. The first issue being the whole Maid/Matron of Honor thing. She had decided not to make me her Maid/Matron of Honor and have it be her Boyfriend or Best Friend instead…something I think she still regrets. It had been my intention to have her be MatronOH and have a MaidOH, but I was a little bit taken aback that about a week after I got engaged she just flat out asked me what I was going to do. I kind of thought it should be me who does the asking…but okay.
Then about a month or so later when we were trying to nail down dates (and I was learning that 9 months is actually kind of late to start planning a larger wedding and finding a site etc), she informed me that she *might* be pregnant and would I consider different dates than what I had settled on so she wouldn’t have a new born on her hands at my wedding. As it turns out there weren’t many options left, but though I was willing to be accommodating b/c I want her to be a part of my wedding, I also felt like it was a bit extreme to ask me to move my wedding date, particularly since she didn’t even know for sure yet.
As it’s turned out, she is now pregnant (a month after that conversation) and she’s due 6 days after my wedding. Today she asked me if she could pick out the bridesmaids dresses so that it would be something she will feel and look good in. I told her that I definitely want to pick a dress that everyone feels good in including her, and that I have some things in mind. But I also have several people to take into account (including my fiance’s sister), so I don’t want to commit to anything yet. She took some offense to this and basically informed me that I have been a very self-centered bride up to this point and that I really ought to take other people into account more.
Now I have been fairly stressed these past few weeks, but no one else seems to feel I’ve been insensitive. I guess I’m feeling a bit like when she got married I put up with a lot b/c it was important to me that she was happy. And I didn’t expect her to thank me every minute for every thing I was doing. Now, I feel like at every turn my sister is pointing out how much of a burden my wedding is on her. So my questions is, am I being tone deaf? Are these things I’m not being sufficiently sensitive to and she’s right to bring up? Or is she being pushy? I feel awful. I want my sister to be a part of my wedding, and I want her to be happy about it. But I simply can’t seem to please her, and now I’m starting to think she’s beyond pleasing.