Post # 1
long story short: I have been married for almost a year, am 26 years old, have an amazing job with a masters degree, my husband has 2 degrees and a wonderful job, and we are doing really well for ourselves. We live in an apt and have a good savings for a house, but are waiting until we are absolutely certain in our location to buy a house. We decided we want to start a family recently, and last cycle I experienced a miscariage. We were devastated. I told my sisters even though they didn’t even know I was pregnant because I knew they would think i was acting depressed and be worried if they didn’t know.
This cycle we find out we are pregnant. I tested early because it was my sister’s bachelorette party and I wanted be sure I was or wasn’t pregnant before I had even a sip of alcohol. So I tell my sisters the reason I won’t be drinking, but that I am still ready to have a blast. My little sister (not the one the party is for) doesn’t respond at all. Three hours later I get this text message about how my Darling Husband and I should’ve waited until we had a house so we can have a “nice” nursery, how my Darling Husband and I should be more settled, how she can’t understand how I’m in this “big rush” to get pregnant, and that I think everything is a “contest” (actual words: who can get pregnant first, who has a better wedding, who gets married first–all of us sisters got married/engaged in a 2year period).
I feel like something was taken from me, like I would have rather she fake congratulated me than for me to know her thoughts and hear those words. Her words sting and hurt more than I can say. After our miscarriage (which she knew about) I was devastated. I feel so happy and hopeful that this could be our first child. I just can’t help but hear her words in my head. Am I just over-emotional? Did you ever get a negative reaction that took a chunk out of you? How did you deal?
Post # 2
Your sister is acting like a brat! It’s none of her business when you get pregnant, whether you own a house, how settled you are, etc!! She is a joy stealing ( probably jealous) BRAT!!!! I would personally ignore her and if she says anything, let her have it Bee!! Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!!
Post # 3
astromberg: Aw I’m so sorry that she wasn’t more happy for you but congratulations on the baby to be! That’s so exciting!!
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2016 - 1950s themed bar
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Sounds like you and hubby have a good life and sounds like a great environment for bringing a person into the world! Don’t take your sisters words to heart. Are you close to her? What is all this nonsense about nurseries and all this baby crazy stuff anyway. I get it, but personally see it as a pretty unimportant, if not the least important, aspect of having children – babies don’t need rooms; they need love and cuddles. It’s ok to feel disappointed by what she said, but don’t let it steal your joy 🙂
Post # 5
natalienz: I completely agree. We are pretty close which is why I didn’t expect that. It just sucks because I only told those two sisters (we are waiting until trimester 2 to tell anyone else), and besides the online support, I’ve probably got the worst reaction anyone new mom-to-be would want to hear. I have put her thoughts past me, but the hurt is still there and it stings bad.
Post # 6
Re-read your first paragraph. The person you described does not need approval from an apparently jealous sister. Don’t give her the power to take away your joy with your wonderful news.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! (I’m sure that’s what she meant to say).
Post # 7
beetruz13: I agree, and thank you. Trying to ignore as much as possible, but it’s tough to not feel the hurt. I pray this pregnancy is healthy and reaches full term. Excited for when we feel comfortable enough to tell other family members and friends so that we get to experience the positive reactions too!
Post # 8
astromberg: You are not being overly emotional. Her reaction was very hurtful to you of course. Sorry, like I said I’d keep my distance a little from her and if she says anything I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her how much she hurt you. But don’t overly stress about it! Not good for you or baby!!! Congrats again!!! All of the Bees wish you the best!!!
Post # 9
You sound just like me and my future hubby to be 🙂 We are both doing extremely well financially and worked hard to be where we are and after getting married next month we are going to be ready within a year for a family. And we also live in an apartment. Nothing wrong with that! When we find the right house, we will pounce on it. It’s what we both want, screw what others think! Keep your happiness number one. CONGRATS!
Post # 10
astromberg: CONGRATS!! You’re sister seems to be the one that is most upset by this so called “race”! I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the reaction you deserve! You definately dont need the approval of anyone and I think you and your Darling Husband sound super responsible and mature. Theres’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in an apartment and it seems like your ducks are all in a row! You’ll find that house when you’re ready!
I’m sorry about your miscarriage I hope this one sticks and a happy and healthy 9 months!
Post # 11
Maybe you should look a bit more deeply at her reaction and the reason behind it. Perhaphs she has been TTC and hasnt been able to or maybe she also suffered a miscariage which you didnt know about and hasnt been able to fall pregnant since. Maybe you should as her why she feels that way she feels, surley there is more to it then a nice nursery and a jealous sister?
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2016 - 1950s themed bar
astromberg: If you’re close then perhaps you could explain to her your situation and why you feel that this is the perfect time to start a family? Unless that would cause an argument or fight (I don’t know if she’s stubborn or open to conversation) in which case I would just say nothing. Sorry that it stings; hopefully she’ll change her tune in a few months, and when the baby arrives I’m sure she’ll be just as delighted as any aunt
Post # 13
WTF does your sister know? Congratulations! I would love to be in your shoes right now (the pregnant ones, lol). Sounds like you have your business sorted out, so just focus on that! Woohoo!
Post # 14
astromberg: “I didn’t know we were competing. When you’re this far ahead in the race you don’t even know someone’s behind you.”
Post # 15
jennmariee: This, this, this!
Please don’t let your sister ruin what is a joyful time for you. CONGRATULATIONS! I wish you a healthy pregnancy.