- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hi Wedding Bees –
So I absolutely do not know what to do with my maid of honor! I have been friends with this girl since we were 7 years old, and throughout the years, there have been times where we have been super close and then times where we haven’t talked for months. However the case, this girl is my oldest friend and I really want her to be part of my special day. So I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor in late January for my upcoming wedding this October and she accepted, but now that I think about it, I should have never asked her. She wasn’t really even excited or happy for me when I told her I was getting married, and then again she wasn’t really happy when I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I feel like she is very jealous that I am getting married and that she is not. As much as I try to ignore it and not think about it, it does still hurt me.
Consider everything I have said, I’m still find it shocking that she is acting this way and it really shocks me that she has shown NO interest in my wedding WHATSOEVER. She has given excuses to everything related to my wedding… just a few examples are like her canceling on me and my mom at 2 bridal dress appointments, showing a picture of me in a wedding dress I liked to some of her friends and telling them she thought it was ugly and unflattering and then asking their opinions on it (I WAS SOOOO MAD), and then also telling me she would host the bridal shower but then informing me months later that she can no longer do it because she has suddenly decided to move out of state for an internship she all of a sudden applied for out of the blue. I also asked her to help me pick Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses out and she had the nerve of having me drive to a store with 2 friends to see a very inappropriate evening dress that would basically show off all the girls’ breasts and bare backs; I of course didn’t pick that dress! And now most recently she is delaying the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress order by not ordering her dress on time.
I feel really hurt because my wedding day is going to be one of the most important day’s in my life and as one of my oldest friend’s, I honestly thought she would be happy for me and would want to be involved in helping me plan my wedding, but NOTHING. I even recently realized after doing a lot of deep thinking that she has NEVER even brought the subject of my wedding up in ANY of our conversations; it’s always been me. And if we are in a group setting, and me and other friends start talking about the wedding, she tries to change the subject or rolls her eyes.
Needless to say, I talked with my mom and my fiancé, and everyone agrees that she doesn’t seem to want to be the maid of honor and that her actions and behaviors could be an indicator that she could possibly even flake out of the wedding days before. I think I need to have a heart to heart conversation with her and let her know that I feel that she just has too much going on in her life and lay it all out as to how I feel. I would also tell her that with her being my oldest friend, that I still want her to be in the wedding party as a bridesmaid but that it is completely up to her. I hate that I am in this position, but I do not want any drama when it comes to my wedding and that is exactly what is happening. All of my other BM’s are happy and excited and helping, except for the Maid/Matron of Honor. I now want to have my sister take over the role and she would gladly accept. The reason I also didn’t ask my sister in the first place is bc she a new mommy to triplets, so I know that she would have been too busy for the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities but she has honestly done more than my friend.
So Bees, I need HELP and suggestions as to how I can bring the subject up to my friend and basically tell her that I no longer want her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.