Post # 1
I just learned that in the past couple weeks, my boyfriend’s mother has been asking him to take her grandmother’s engagement ring (purchased sometime in the 1800s) to use for me. She said that he can reset the stones if he would like to. I am so touched that she would like to give this heirloom to me, but I’m hesitant to accept this gift. For one thing, the ring is an awkward style, with two larger and two smaller stones, all round, set in a diamond shape. Another thing that’s holding me back from accepting her gift is that back in October, my boyfriend and I went ring shopping and I fell head over heels in love with a princess-cut pave ring.
Here’s his great-grandmother’s ring (size 7 on a candle, if that helps anyone to estimate the size of these diamonds!):
Here’s the ring we picked out months ago:
And here’s my idea for combining them. What I would LOVE to do is take the two smaller round stones from his grandmother’s ring and turn my dream ring into a three stone, like this:
But I am worried about offending his mother if we only use the two smaller diamonds. BF does have a younger sister that the two larger diamonds could be given to, if we only choose to use a couple of the stones. The last idea I have is using one of the bigger diamonds from the heirloom ring in a single-stone ring (I dislike three stone rings where all the stones are round), but I prefer square/rectangular diamonds and I’m worried I would regret the choice.
Bees, do you have any more design suggestions to combine the heirloom diamonds with the ring I love? Has anyone else been in a similar situation and can give me some advice? I am so touched that his mother wanted to gift this ring to me, and I would love to incoporate one of his family’s heirlooms into my engagement ring! Thanks in advance for your help!
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Post # 2
I would run your idea by his mom and sister and see how they feel about the idea of his grandma’s ring being broken up and repurposed. They might be fine with it, especially since you’re giving his sister the two larger stones, or they might not want to do it for sentimental reasons.
Post # 3
Definitely, thanks for your input! I think part of why I’m so nervous is that even though she said we could reset the stones, I feel bad destroying an heirloom, so I’ll be sure to ask her what she’s okay with.
Post # 4
I love the three stone, although I’m pretty biased. Definitely ask your Future Mother-In-Law if its ok to use just two stones. I don’t see why it wouldn’t be, she must know that using 4 similarly sized round stones would be hard.
Post # 5
I like your idea a lot to set the two smaller stones flanking your princess cut and giving the bigger stones to his sister. That way, a part of his grandmother will be with each of you. I would imagine that your Future Mother-In-Law would be very touched at this idea especially since she said you could reset the stones. Like the other PP said, run it by her but I don’t see it being an issue.
Post # 6
Make stud earrings from the two larger stones
Post # 7
I personally wouldn’t touch the heirloom ring just because I think it’s looks so cool and unique (I know the mother is okay with resetting, but i think there’s just something that you’re losing by doing so!) I un totally if the heirloom ring isn’t your style – I would ask the sister to see if it’s HER style, because she might love it as-is, in which case it would be a shame to take it apart. If it’s not, then do whatever you want with it, I guess. Maybe I just have too strong of an attachment to interesting vintage pieces..
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
Gosh, I’m a sucker for heirloom pieces. I would be tempted to leave it just the way it is! There’s no reason you can’t get your dream ring also, and swap them out. I love having variety. I know some ppl are too sentimental for this…
I would accept it as is, and wear it with pride. Since you are basically getting it for free, you could totally buy your dream ring (maybe in moissanite?) and have the two options. One on the left, one on the right?
Post # 9
I agree with FantasticFawn
, I’d be honest with your Future Mother-In-Law and tell her your thoughts. It’s a beautiful idea to have heirloom stones in a new ring, especially as the current style is not something that many people would choose as an e-ring these days I second the idea of using the larger stones as stud earrings and could you maybe wear them on your wedding day? Or perhaps offer to get two pendants made with the larger stones and you wear one at the wedding and give the other to the sister?
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
I really like your idea the best where you incorporate 2 small stones into your ring. The best way to put it is gracefully thank future Mother-In-Law for the generous gift and that you would like this ring to represent both old and new by combining some of the stones into one setting. This way the ring could blend both generations. Have you also considered resetting the two larger stones into a pendant for use on your wedding day?
Post # 11
I like your idea about sharing out the diamonds if Future Mother-In-Law is ok with that. I also really like the idea that the bigger diamonds could make a nice set of earrings.
Post # 12
Thanks for the input everyone! I especially liked the idea of asking if BF’s younger sister would wear the ring as is, because I would hate to break up an heirloom. If she would like the stones to be split between us, I think the idea of creating two diamond pendants would be really nice as well. We decided to call his mother this weekend and discuss it with her!
Post # 13
If you do keep all the stones, you could create a five stone ring – princess center, larger rounds on either side of the princess, and smaller rounds on either side of the larger rounds. I don’t have a picture of exactly that, but I think this picture shows a similar visual effect. Your larger round would be in place of the two small rounds on either side.
Post # 14
I think you have a great idea there and it would make a beautiful e-ring and she could still get the princess center stone she fell in love with, and use all the diamonds from the heirloom ring.
Post # 15
i have a thing about repurposing heirlooms. Although it’s such a great idea of you using the two smaller ones and his sister taking the two bigger ones, I still hate breaking up an heirloom piece that would continue to be passed down for more generations. Its a sentimentality thing for me I think! If definitly see how his mom feels about it and maybe seeing if it’s the sisters taste too before doing anything! keep us updated on how your talk goes! Good luck. That ring is gorgeous and unique.