(Closed) Help me convince my fiance to have a honeymoon!

posted 3 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 2
Hostess
3177 posts
Sugar bee

Girl, remind your man what a honeymoon is for! Tell him you want to spend some time with him parading around in a smoking hot bikini, sipping margaritas in the sun on a gorgeous white beach in Aruba, and having sex on every surface imaginable!! YES you will regret it if you skip the honeymoon!!

Post # 3
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Neither one of you is wrong. You both have valid points. Time to  Compromise.  You accept that he places a high priority on contributing financially and agree to delay the honeymoon, and he accepts that you place a high priority on having a honeymoon and agrees to planning a trip 6 months after he has a proper job. 

Post # 4
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

des- :  YES!!! +100000000000

Post # 5
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You cant redo the high of being just married. Its a once in a life time thing and you definitely will regret skipping it! Save the amount in cash yourself and book it! Even if its local-ish and inexpensive.

Post # 6
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

Do something inexpensive and local take a week off work and just spend time together

Post # 7
Member
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You want to splurge. He is worried about money as he is unemployed.

Like many other things you will have to deal with in your marriage, the two of you will have to find a compromise that works for both of you. You don’t get to splurge. He doesn’t get to say no honeymoon.

You can have sex on every surface possible in an inexpensive cabin or cottage you rent off season in a holiday area near where you live or where you are getting married. You don’t need to go to Aruba for that.

If something coxy and private is not your thing, you could book 2 or 3 nights in a higher end hotel or AirBnB.

Find something that works for both of you.

Post # 9
Hostess
3177 posts
Sugar bee

julies1949 :  Aww c’mon now julies I’m selling the fantasy here!! But you’re totally right, it definitely doesn’t have to be anything expensive.

OP, just scale back on what you planned to spend. And then go enjoy yourselves!!!

Post # 10
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee

Did you all miss the part where she said she already floated the low key minimoon by him and he says no to that?  There is some preaching to the choir here.  

Sparklesakways is correct.  You can’t redo the high of just being married, it’s a once in a lifetime trip.  I too, would just book it.  Obviously keeping his concerns in mind with your choosings.  

Post # 11
Member
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I doubt that anyone missed  ‘the part where she said she already floated the low key minimoon by him and he says no to that”.

I think talking about it and coming to a compromise is infinitely better for a relationship than completely ignoring his concerns and booking a honeymoon on her own. That is a surefire way for him to feel that his feelings have been completely ignored.

Just because they haven’t been able to compromise so far, doesn’t mean they can’t at some point come to a decision they are both ok with.

Post # 12
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My situation is different but I have recently spent time convincing Darling Husband to book a belated honeymoon, 6 months after our wedding. He doesn’t see the point but I reallllly want a week on a beach in Mexico. Through lots of compromise we have seemed to come to an agreement. Would your Fiance be more comfortable with delaying the honeymoon? Or doing a shorter one (4-5 days)? Or something more local?  That way you can still get something similar to what you had in mind but maybe for less $$$. He might take some time to come around but I would hope he will meet you in the middle 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee

julies1949 :  I think by booking a lower key/shorter/closer/etc. honeymoon she IS compromising.  

I also think her not getting a honeymoon at all could be just as or more damaging to their relationship.  Compromise is a two player game.  She has already made concessions, he has not.  And you only get a shot at a honeymoon once, if you’re lucky anyway.

Anyhow it is simple to book the flexible rate.  I assume at some point she will run out of time to be able to devote to this task before the wedding.  Better to just get something on the books now even if you end up having to cancel because your Darling Husband never did do his part and compromise.

And sometimes a woman just knows best.  I think this is one of those times.

Post # 14
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

He can still have the big honeymoon in the future even if you have a minimoon right after your wedding. If your finances are good, you can call it an investment towards the health of your new marriage. Plus, a little R&R might improve his job prospects? 

Post # 15
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

 I’d do a “minimoon” (weekend away, within driving distance) and plan your “honeymoon” as a one-year anniversary trip. Hopefully by then he’ll have a job and feel more comfortable with the big trip!

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