Post # 1
So a little background: Currently engaged long distace. Weve been in an LDR for over a year and his visa will finally be approved and everything settled after the first of the year, leaving him about February for his arrival. We have not lived with eachother and havent had much physical contact. This is going to be a huge culture shock for the both of us.
My main question is: Have any of you undergone couples counseling for any other reason that actual relationship problems? Thats not to say we dont have relationship problems. Of couse there are large trust issues between us with the distace (nothing we havent overcome, obviously) but there is some resentment tward eachother. His, that he limits his social activity to make me feel comfortable, and mine, and he has lied about small things in the past, but to me, a lie is a lie.
Im seriously considering couples counseling when he gets here. I mainly want to know what you all think as far as effectiveness goes, as well as prior personal experiences.
Post # 3
Why not look into premarital counseling? I think that would be a great idea.
Post # 4
That is a good idea, i didnt know that existed
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Yes, couples counseling is a tool that has many purposes, the first and foremost is helping you strengthen your relationship through improved and more open lines of communication. IMO, there’s never a bad time.
Post # 6
You don’t have to wait until there’s a problem to seek couple’s counseling. Like cherrypie said, it’s all about working on communication and stregthening your relationship.
Post # 7
Would it be more beneficial for us to go together, or seperate?
Post # 8
@xSparr0w: we did pre-engagement counseling – not through a professional, but we got them from very very wise church elders who’ve done premaritcal counseling. Absolutely LOVE it. We were LDR as well so i highly recommend this as a way of knowing where you each stand on many issues you may not have thought about!
Post # 9
@xSparr0w: Also, it’s better to go together, this is an experience for the two of you together. This has made it difficult because we were LDR and a lot of people asked for us to be in person together.
Post # 10
@xSparr0w: Look on John Gottman’s website for counselors trained in their method. They have a very scientific approach. Also read some of his books. I highly recommend them!