(Closed) Help me find the middle ground on food

posted 8 years ago in South Asian
Post # 3
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are you looking to incorporate some of the Philippino food into the cocktail hour? Maybe half your apps can be Philippino!

Post # 4
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh no!!! This is gonna be major drama!  I am Filipino so I totally get it when you said that not having a dinner is gonna unpopular for the Filipino guests.  Culturally speaking, food is a big deal.  We always joke that a meal is not a meal if it doesn’t come with rice LOL! A party is not a party without abundance of food and we love serving buffets or family style meals because it gives this look of “a lot of food”.  With that said, I’m gonna be honest with you, serving just hors d’oeuvres is not gonna sit right with your FI’s guests so much. 

But since you are paying for it, I completely understand.  Personally, I don’t think that they should be persistent in what they want if you are handling all the financial aspects of this wedding.  I mean, they can honestly convey to you what they feel but they can’t force you to do what you don’t want. 

Have you talked to your Fiance about this?  What does he think?  I don’t know what your reasons are for not having a full meal in your reception, but if it’s a budget issue, then maybe your future inlaws could contribute money to the reception and they can meet you halfway.  Be honest and talk to your Fiance and to your inlaws.   There’s always a middleground somewhere.  Maybe you can have a pasta station.  You can also try and see if your budget permits and you can bring in a lechon (roasted pig).  I am telling you, having that roasted pig will make them forget that they are not having a full meal! LOL!

Good luck dear!

Post # 5
30 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with MSGTHONEY she’s right on trying to keep it mixed with the food types. After all, your family and friends will be there as well, but try not to make it a “me vs. them” thing in your head. Im sure you’re not trying to! 🙂

Try to embrace both cultures with choices from both, you may not particularly like that kind of food, but your family members may be more curious that day, and you want to at least give them the option of trying it.

It would seem rude to not include his familys traditions, so I would make some Filipino and food of your culture as well avaliable. 

I have to keep that in mind when hearing my own in-law’s “suggestions” for what we “should do” for our South Asian wedding, and try to keep in mind that they are just that – suggestions – and you dont have to do everything they say, it’s respectful to at least consider it, and make sure they know that you’ve considered it at least. 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 6
1580 posts
Bumble bee

maybe you could go with a “stationed” cocktail hour/dinner. One station can have the traditional Filipino food. The other stations can have whatever other kind of food you and your guests will enjoy.

If the Filipino guests just want to stand by the Filipino station all night, then so be it.

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