(Closed) Help me get excited for my wedding!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I felt the same way. But everyone told me constantly that it will be one of the best days of your life, a day to celebrate and cherish… and of course they were right. We had a year and 8 month engangement so initially I wasn’t very excited but as the months passed the excitement increased. Slowly, I kind of threw myself into everything wedding. Watched movies wedding related, shows wedding related, lots of research on the web about weddings and in the end I am glad I went for it. It’s ok to think about yourself and your Fiance, it’s your wedding afterall and it won’t take away from others accomplishments in the least. 

Post # 3
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Meh.  Not all of us are wired the same way.  For some people it is the very best day or their lives.  Others have planned it since they were little girls/boys. 

My take on this is that for you it’s about the marriage.  So make sure to incorporate all kinds of details that will help you feel the transition into that marriage.  Whatever will help you feel married… go big with that!

And also maybe lower your expectations about what you SHOULD feel.  One feels what one feels and that is the end of the story.  Maybe you’ll feel more excited as the wedding day draws nearer and nearer or maybe you won’t.  At the end of the day though you will have the wedding YOU want with the end result being that you’ll be married! So maybe focus on that?

I wasn’t really over the moon about our wedding day either (and I was a lucky gal in that my now DH agreed that an elopement/weddingmoon/extended honeymoon was the way to go!), but there were several key details that made me feel “bridal” and “married.”  Those were my favorite parts of the day.  🙂 

Good luck Bee!

Post # 5
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Don’t feel bad about not feeling a certain way. Everyone asks if I’m excited. I’m excited about being married, not necessarily about the wedding itself. I’m pretty anxious about that part. 

The wedding should be about you too. You have plenty of time to figure out will work for you. Think about what kind of wedding you want. Maybe walk down the aisle with your Fiance. Maybe cut out things that draw attention to you. What would help you feel comfortable? 

Post # 7
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m right there with you. I don’t have much of a family and not many close ffiends so a big wedding seems like a silly expense. He wants it though. Argh. I tried to convince him to do the Vegas quickie, we live here after all, but nooooo. We are about 2 months away and it gets more exciting as you go, especially when getting the props it will feel more “real”. I was so happy to buy all the glassware for the candy table the other day. In a way, it’s good to be more relaxed about your wedding, it’s less stress and expectations of others to be perfect is minimal. 

Post # 8
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

View original reply
sushiroll84:  you can absolutely scrap the cake cutting if you want to.  My SIL didn’t have a cake and I never even noticed it until we were discussing cake for our wedding and my Mother-In-Law pointed it out.  We also didn’t do a grand entrance – it helped that we were taking pictures in the grounds of our venue as cocktail hour was happening so we were able just to slip back in to cocktail hour and mingle with the guests, then went inside to sit down with them all.  If you time it right then it can easily work that way.

I was a bit nervous about walking down the aisle with all eyes on me as well – but honestly, I was so focused on DH by that point that I didn’t notice a single person looking at me.

Post # 10
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I felt the same way. I LOVE being married , but engaged/wedding planning not so much. Honestly, I was anxious about the attention at the wedding but it genuinely was one of the most fun/romantic/amazing days of my life . Your feelings are normal. Like others said, think what will make yu most comfortable or how you can bring parts of yourself into the wedding. <3

Post # 11
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m confused about why your Fiance is the one who wants the wedding, yet you’re stuck planning it! Man, if my partner wanted the event but not the work, I’d tell him: “Dude, you know what Pinterest is and where we keep the checkbook. Let me know when it’s time for cake tasting!”

Maybe since you’re not excited about attention on you, focus on the parts of the reception that will make your guests happy? That way you can imagine them enjoying the activities, savoring the food, etc., and that could increase your excitement. 

But seriously. It’s your FI’s big day here, so I sure hope he’s pulling his weight!

Post # 13
Member
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I don’t know whether or not your family lives close by or not, but the thing that got me most excited about my wedding was the fact that basically everyone I like was going to come from out of town to spend time with me and my fiance/husband.  Both my brothers lived in different states at the time, and many of my closest friends and relatives lived hours away.  I was REALLY looking forward to seeing all these people, but I was worried I wouldn’t have enough quality time with everyone at my reception.  I ended up planning for everyone to stay at a hotel the night after the wedding and go to a local theme park together the next day.  It was the best thing I ever did, and got me really excited for the wedding because I knew I would get to celebrate with everyone in a stress-free environment.  I also ditched any parts of the traditional reception that I thought were a waste of time.  (No garter toss, for example, because I don’t like them.)  It’s your wedding.  Make it what you want.

Post # 15
Member
7951 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
sushiroll84:  It’s not a bad thing that you are more excited to be married than you are to have a wedding. That really is how it should be. So many people get caught up in planning the perfect wedding event that they forget what it’s all about–marrying and planning a future with the love of your life. 

I hope you can try to insert some fun for yourself into it–perhaps plan something for yourself and your Fiance every month between now and then, get some photos of the two of you together doing things you love to do, and share those in beautiful frames at the wedding? Something you will have forever that are part of your goal–to have a great life together.

Pretty much everyone has some screwed up family members–you are not alone. The good thing about having bridal responsibilities is they give you an excuse to give a quick hug, a ‘thank you for coming’ and move on! 

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