(Closed) Help me get over my wedding ordeal & be happy with all my blessings!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Do you think it might be something where you can look back and laugh?  “At least it’s not as bad as you almost throwing up at the altar!” 

However your “close friend” doesn’t sound like much of a friend in this post! 

Post # 4
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am really sorry you had these experiencse as your wedding memory. If you are anything like me, those things get “stuck in my head” in cause me all sorts of unnecessary anxiety. The other day I was having all these “down” moments, feeling depressed about things not working out with planning our low budget (turning even lower) wedding and everything I initially wanted is not working out. First of all, do you think it would help if you and Darling Husband have a planned weekend vow renewal on your first anniversary ? Perhaps just the two of you  and someone close for witnesses? 

I just want to mention a quote from my dad from last year that I remind myself of when I get caught up in the little things that bring me down. He passed away on February 7th from a short bout with esophagael cancer. It was devastating.

 He said:

“Life is great. If I can keep my expectations from ruining it.” (M.Simpson 2010)

I think it says quite a great deal but perhaps that’s just me and because I look up to him.

Post # 5
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I had a lot of emotional baggage after our wedding (A firework was shot into our wedding tent and hit a guest, the girl who introduced us got super drunk/popped some pills and puked on my dress/acted like an asshole, my sister acted like a jerk, husband’s grandma left the reception by EMS, etc..) and it took a long time to get over it, partly because the healing process was drawn out. Drama with in-laws over the wedding (it was a lot of ugliness).

Almost 3 years later, I still cringe when I think about our wedding (it was beautiful though!)- but I don’t feel the way I did. I can kind of smile and think it is what it is. It’s one day and we both agree we’re really happy to be married. It’s the best feeling.

Post # 6
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Oh wow, that is super rough. I am really sorry your big day wasn’t all it that you hoped it would be. This is a big fear I have of my own wedding next week. I do not blame you at all for being sad about it. Especially since you really didn’t get the support you deserved from family and friends. That really sucks. I would definitely rethink some of those “friends” who weren’t there for you. I can’t believe it. It’s not like you were asking very much from them at all. I would definitely try to just not think about the wedding too much since it still brings you so much sadness. Instead, I would focus on your marriage and the future you have with your husband. I know this will be difficult to do, but I think it is the best step you can take in order to move on from this ordeal. Best wishes 🙂

Post # 7
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We had some big issues with our wedding (his ex crashed the ceremony, fighting with in-laws, couldn’t find the reception, Mother-In-Law tried to sabotage the first look) but these are just focusing on the negatives. We had more special moments than bad ones (first look, holding hands at the altar, first kiss, getting dressed with the girls, first dance) and focusing on those memories make me happy.

Try to focus on the special feelings you shared with your husband. Maybe even plan a vow renewal for just you and him, so you can make a new special memory with him?

I think it’s really hard to forgive when it comes to weddings. It’s pretty much the biggest day of your life, so when people act selfish/rude it’s 100x worse than on any other day.

Post # 9
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ooh my goodness girls, those are some really scary wedding moments, I don’t blame you for continuing to think about them.  Here is the good news: you and your new hubby have already coped with a lot together and it will only make you stronger!  I love dad’s quote too!  I think we put such high expectations on this one day, but really our wedding day is just the start of something much better.  It seems to be part of our society, the movies little girls watch… they always end with the wedding or when people get together.  it’s not a realistic expectation.  Don’t be so hard on yourself, but I would reconsider my friend.

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