(Closed) Help me get over ring regret …

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Seems like most everyone is in agreement…

I hope OP doesn’t feel too guitly about asking this question.  No judging here!

Post # 63
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2007

Sad she totally missed the point😮

Post # 64
Member
25 posts
Newbee

I haven’t read through all the comments yet, but the carat of the diamond is not as important as the diameter or spread. You can get a 1.5 that looks smaller than your 1.3 if all the carat weight is at the bottom and not in the spread. 

 

Also your ring ring sounds beautiful and more than most could ever wish for, but you have to wear it your whole life so you should make the choice that makes you happy. 

Post # 65
Member
25 posts
Newbee

View original reply
becomingimpatient :  I agree with you. Pricescope and wedding bee are new to me and both are making me feel very ashamed that I have been looking at what I thought was normal diamond sizes (.70-.80). I feel like everyone has well over a carat and 20K to spend. I have a great job and just don’t understand why I am not in that same financial position and well, jealous.  

I also am taking an untraditional approach of buying my own ering and wedding band (and picking it myself). My BF will be getting me a surprise gift that he feels represents “us” and it could be a painting or jewellery or some other random thing. 

Post # 66
Member
3345 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m not sure she would be happy with anything.

Post # 67
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
nykkee :  I never said there was anything wrong with a .25ct ring.  I said if the OP was expecting (or hoping for) a 1.5ct ring or larger and her Fiance got her a .25ct, I could see why she would be disappointed.  It was an arbitrary size I picked to make a point.  Didn’t mean to piss anyone off.

Post # 69
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
drcocochanel :  

Hi OP! This post is from 2 years ago, but in case that you come to read this post again, I wanted to say some things, and even if you don’t read it, I figured there would be more people who stumbled on this particular thread due to similar issues of ring envy, that also got me to this thread. 

1. A lot of replies to this thread has really judged on the fact of the OP’s mentioned 1.3ct vs 1.5ct but I think we are missing the point here. The size of the diamond itself is not the issue. In OP’s circle, it’s porbably common for people to wear bigger diamonds, perhaps averaging 1.5ct to even 2ct. As some have posted, everything is RELATIVE here. I imagine if the OP stated “I wish I had 1ct and not 0.8ct,” there may have been less heat and judgment from people. So my point here is that, OP probably runs in a socioeconmic class and region perhaps SF or NYC where people commonly wear 1.5ct or larger. Hence, OP probably expected such size. 

2. I found this thread because I am experiencing some struggles with ring envy although a) I have gotten the exact ring I asked for both in size and style, and b) I really like my ring when I just look at it independently of others, as I think it fits my personality of simple but classic and not too flashy. Problem comes in when I start looking at everyone else’s rings. It has seriously become a problem to a degree, because like OP, I feel my ring is not big enough. When in reality, I am completely happy with the ring itself, it’s that every time I see a bigger ring on someone else, I feel inferior, less than or not good enough. Why do I feel this way?! This is probably why OP also really struggled with some obessesive thoughts of wanting a bigger center stone or having a more intricate setting, both lf which also crossed my mind. So my point is, it’s a comparison issue. And it has to do with status symbol and the signifcance we attach to these rings. 

3. I think that we have to think more deeply into the root issue of why we put so much signifance to these rings. What do they signify? Why does it matter? What are we assuming about ourselves and others from our rings? Are they true? How can I start to steer away from thinking one way that produces more anxiety and envy (negative fruits) to another way that leads to more freedom and joy (positive fruits)? 

Just some food for thought.. 🙂

 

Post # 69
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
pakto123 :  see above.  The op deactivated her account while this thread was running two years ago.  She’s not getting messages and she’s not coming back.  Bummer though it is.

Post # 70
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

“Comparison is the theif of joy.” (Teddy Roosevelt)

Post # 71
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

That’s “thief.”

Post # 72
Member
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Closing old thread 

The topic ‘Help me get over ring regret …’ is closed to new replies.

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