Post # 1
I just need to vent this out!
My entire life I have viewed money as some what of an issue. Since I was 15 I worked, most of my life I had 2 or 3 jobs at a time. I say “issue” but what I mean is that I have always worked for my money and I have always been a very independent person. I come from a loving family who lives comfortably but my finances were all on me from the second I turned 18. I am in no way complaining because I am grateful for the way I was raised and have financial experiences that most 25 year olds don’t.
Anyway, at this moment I don’t know if I will have enough to pay all of my bills this month. This happens every month when the bills are all coming in and I have panic attacks and contemplate becoming a stripper or living on the street or not eating for days. My friends sometimes don’t understand how I can’t afford to go out for happy hour when I work all the time but they also don’t have loans or car payments or extra expenses. I budget very well and I am doing okay for myself but I am sick of stressing every single month for the past 8 years! My Fiance is in a field of study where he will be making a lot of money but sometimes I feel so defeated with my finances that I don’t think I will be financial stable for the next year until we’re married. Also, I am not marrying him for his money…he wanted to be a high school teacher when I fell in love with him and he has more debt than I do.
I hope this vent doesn’t come off the wrong way, I know how sensitve the money talk is, but I am so nervous about making my payments and it’s nice to turn here for a anon vent.
Thanks for listening xoxo
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Financial struggling is tough, but without knowing more about your personal budget, I can’t really offer much more than “been there, yep, it sucks!”
What I can suggest is a GREAT community on http://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance who can help you look at your exact expenses and help you find ways to live better within your means.
Post # 4
reee: pretty sure I could have written your post word for word … Hang in there. In ten years when all the couples you know are swimming up to their eyeballs in debt and creditors, you will be living comfortably. People like us who have had to struggle (yes literally struggle) understand money, and the lack thereof. We are the hustlers and we are the ones that know how to make ends meet when there are no ends. I say this with complete sincerity, but our struggles make us better. I work a full time job, voluntary overtime, I make cakes, I paint, I refurbish furniture, I am never too good to clean your house or wash your dog. My Fiance is the same way…and guess what? We have savings and virtually no debt. Hang in there!
Post # 5
reee: Bills/expenses/life are certainly overwhelming! I’m just like you… I started working at 15 and always had a few part time jobs until I landed my full time job in 2011 (that I still hold and love!). It sounds like you may need to evaulate your finances. It’s always good to do so from time to time. If you’ve been working consistently and having troubles with meeting your expenses, you should evaulate them. Personally, I’m comfortable sticking with the 70/20/10 rule…
70% for living expenses (rent, food, clothing, gasoline)
20% for savings: 10% for retirement (IRA, 401(k), company pension), 5% for emergencies (car repairs, medical expenses, unemployment), 5% for specific goals (vacation, car, school tuition, a new computer)
10% for debt (student loans, car payments, credit cards)
Good luck to you!
Post # 6
reee: Your post confuses me because one hand you say you can barely pay your bill and on the other hand you say you budget very well and do well for yourself? Maybe its time to re do your budget? Are there non essentials you can eliminate??
But either way money stuff SUCKS and what I used to tell myself is that most people are flat out broke when they are young…as you get older (hopefully) you have more money ect. It will be ok you clearly have a great work ethic!!! Hang in there!
Post # 7
I’m with Boxerlover24, as I’m a bit confused as well. Are you paying rent or do you own a house? Is it possible your monthly mortgage/rent payments are too high for the amount of money you make? If it happens every month, I feel like something is not right with your budget.
Post # 8
Mint (www. mint .com) has essentially changed my life. I have budgets, I have goals, and I KNOW what my bills are going to be, when they’re coming, and whether or not I have enough to pay them!
I know you just needed to get the frusteration out, but it might be worth a try to visualize your financial life a little bit better!
Post # 9
reee: Could your money insecurities be emotional and not financial? I ask that with respect, not judgement because I am right there with you. I am hardworking and have been financially independent since I was 15 at my choice. I am VERY conservative with money and make a lot, have also saved a lot but it never FEELS like enough to me. I panic about not having enough money more often than I would like to admit when in fact, I have more assets than I ever have in my life but I feel less financially secure than when I had nothing. I would be embarrassed to post my income and savings because it would seem like a lot to most people but I think money security is more emotional than straight numbers. The reason I am sharing this is because I think we have an emotional issue with money. I am going to seek help for this, but I feel your pain and wish you peace as you to resolve this. If you have any answers, please share them with me! Best wishes!
Post # 10
Hey Bee, I just want to let you know that I understand completely. I’ve been there in my own life. When I look back at my mid-20s especially, and think about how hard I was working v. how much I was making v. how much it cost to live my (very spartan) life, I don’t know how I pulled it off. But I made it – and managed to live without credit cards and didn’t rack up any new debt. (I have student loan debt)
I don’t have any special insight – I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. And that, in my experience, it gets better!
But I also agree with PP – I do think part of feeling financially secure IS emotional. I’m finally “comfortable” but money stuff still freaks me out!
Post # 11
being an adult SUCKS. like i posted the other day, if it were socially acceptable, I would still be living at my parents with my cat.
Post # 12
reee: I forgot to add, one thing that really helps me to put things in perspective and be grateful for what I have is to volunter. Through voluntering and donations,I am blessed to interact with others who, unfortunately – have very serious hardships. I am always amazed by their spirit, resiliency and hope. It is truly inspirational to me. Maybe voluntering would help you?
Post # 13
- Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery
reee: Me too, girl. Me too.
But I second ImTheBoss: about Mint.com and it’s corresponding phone app. It’s a game changer. You can see exactly where your money goes each month, set budgets, BILL REMINDERS (sounds like you may benefit from those–I know I do), etc.
While it can be depressing to see how much of your money goes to things that are a bummer (student loans, hello!) but having a break down like this is really useful.
ETA: That’s my actual breakdown in expenses in July. It’s hard to manage sometimes, but knowing I’m getting everything paid ontime and actually being able to see exactly how I spend has allowed to to actually save a bit each month. It’s a good feeling to see those accounts growing.
Post # 14
I feel ya. I’ve been working since I was 13 and never got an “allowance” or had anything handed to me. I live in an extremely wealthy area so all of my friends were (and still are) financially dependent on their parents. Their parents buy them brand new BMWs, have bought them a house, designer clothes, vacations, etc. I have a friend who is 26 and has never worked a day in her life but always has a brand new designer bag and is upgrading her Jeep constantly. It’s frustrating. I don’t judge them for their lifestyle and I am happy I don’t live off my parents but when all my friends plan elaborate vacations, nights out, expensive conert tickets and shopping sprees, they can’t understand why I can’t join them. I constantly get the “OH come on!! It’s just a 4-day trip to Miami… live a little!!” Trust me, I wish I COULD “live a little”.
Post # 15
reee: I’m sorry. This is what I hate about the current state of the country (I assume you’re US) that there is a growing population of working poor. Everyone who has a full time job should be able to live comfortably without worrying how to pay basic bills. Hope you’ll get through this, good luck.