Post # 1
Ok, my fiance is planning on having 6 groomsmen. I know we don’t *have* to have the same number in our wedding party, but I would like to have roughly the same amount
I have 3 younger sisters who will be in the bridal party. I don’t have any of the ‘friend-since-we-were-in-diapers’ friends. Here are the people that I am considering
L1- college roomate. My closest friend from college, we talk with less frequency at this time but we live far away from each other, and neither ofus love the phone. However, I do know that in a pinch she would ALWAYS be there for me. She was briefly engaged and had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (then the engagement broke off)
L2- another college friend we drifted out of touch touch for a while but have recently been in more contact. She is also getting married this spring (I will not be in the wedding). She was always a ton of fun in college and always makes me laugh and has a really goofy personality that is fun to be around
R- we have only been friends for a year and a half-ish. She is my running partner and one of my closest friends at the moment. We met through the group we both run with, we trained for marathons together and spend a lot of time together running (also going out at night)
A- my fiance’s best friend’s wife. She actually met my fiance the night she met her now husband. Obviously I wouldn’t know her if it wasn’t for my fiance. We spend a lot of time for my family and she always jokes with my fiance (before we were engaged) that if we ever broke up she’d keep me. LOL. I have known her as long as I have known my fiance (approx 1.5 years)
Post # 3
I had trouble making this decision myself. We had put a 2-BM limit at first but i now have 4, its not worth hurting anyone’s feelings. I would suggest just asking all of them but… if not, L1 for sure, A would be good to have around because she is around a lot and she know’s your fiance well. then its up to you.
Post # 4
L1, R and A
is what i would consider because L2–seems like if you didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, her feelings wouldn’t be hurt since you are also not part of her bridal party…
but if you are also considering things like—dresses, having them plan a bridal shower, etc… i would think about their personalities, and who you would like to be around as you get ready in the day getting dressed/makeup etc. 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2007 - Wynbrick Center - a historic mansion in my hometown.
Assuming you’re about the same amount of ‘close’ to each of them, I’d just think about who will be the most supportive and least stress-inducing. Are any of them a bit diva-ish? I probably wouldn’t include her, if so. You won’t want to be surrounded by that on your wedding day.
You’re so lucky to have so many wonderful friends from which to choose! I agree, too, that if you’re trying to narrow it down to 3, I’d elminate L2, for the reason that Heatherq mentioned above.
Post # 6
Thankfully none of them are Diva-ish 🙂 I try to keep my life as drama free as possible. I feel slightly odd asking new-ish friends to be in my bridal party, but I guess there really are no rules, right? When I thought about expanding my bridal party beyond my sisters L1 was the first one I thought of. We have a long history. R and A both live locally and would be VERY helpful, I am sure. A actually came with my fiance and my youngest sister and I to look at wedding venues- her husband will be one of the best men.
LOL, this is one thing I didn’tt think I would have to overthink so much!
PS- Thank you for all the help and suggestions! I really really appreciate it
Post # 7
I also agree that it sounds like L1, R and A are the closest to you out of the four you mentioned. I think having "newer" friends is fine — great, in fact, if they’re who know the "current" you and are supportive of your relationship with Fiance. I think the friends we make now (out of school, settled a bit more, in a long-term relationship, etc.) are those who will "stick" longer because we are more secure in the person we are and the person we will be in the future.
I have a similar situation with an L2 type of friend — we were so close in college, and talk as much as we can now, but not nearly as much as we used to. She just got married, and had only family members in her bridal party. I was engaged before her and I was originally torn when I thought about if I would ask her to be a bridesmaid or not, because we’re not as close as we used to be (and due to distance, she really doesn’t know my Fiance that well), but when she chose to only have family in her Bridal Party it validated my decision to not include her. I still love her and hope we’re friends for many years to come, but I knew there would be no hard feelings if I didn’t ask her, and the people who ARE in my bridal party are those who know me and Fiance as a couple better than anyone else. I think this is a really important factor in who you choose.