- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
So I need to vent/sort out my feelings. I told him I’m not ready to respond right now. We don’t fight so we’re doing the avoid and stay out of eachothers way bit right now.
Fiance got out of work early, we were having a good afternoon and then he tells me “babe theres something I want to let you know” okay, what is it? He tells me that this saturday his friends are going out and he’s going too. The itinerary is that his friend (whom I’ve never met) is renting a limo for some guys, they are going to a club, then going back to this guys house and crashing. Then having a bbq the following day.
The issue isnt that I don’t trust me Fiance, but here’s what I don’t like-
It’s not his bachelor party. He had always wanted just a “guys get together” for his bachelor thing. We are 30 ish and he just wanted to spend quality time with his cousins, dad, friends etc for that. Which he did this weekend. About 30 of his cousins and friends took him to go to the shooting range, then I left (after spending 4 hours cleaning the house and setting up) and all the guys came back and got wasted, played poker etc. I respected his time and left for the majority until later , around ten when we had decided it could be coed from that point on.
SO now I’m finding it hard to understand how you get another “pass” to stay out all night? Mind you it IS a little different for us. We bought a house together 4 mnths ago and I moved in to start being a full time mom to his daughter. Our lifestyle is a married one, so I find it a little bit more disrespectful to tell me you’re goiung to a club, wich in my eyes is essentially a meat market, and staying out all nght.
It would actually be different if he was going with my Future Brother-In-Law or friends of the family because I know their wives and they will respect bounderies as they have to live by them too. What also rubs me the wrong way is this friend of him that is hosting this night out is going through a divorce. My Fiance might not remember that he had told me this a few months ago because when he informed me of the plans today he said “you know-the friend who is married to the girl with the same name as you?” as if to smooth it over because the guys married. YA BUT SEPARATED A**H***. I din’t mention that I remembered that he had told me a few months back that he was sad that these people were seperating. For all I know this is this guys hit-the-scene-because-now-I’m-divorced-party.
I would never think of staying out all night, and couldn’t even imagine asking him that-Id be scared! What also makes it seem shady id that he would NEVER go for me doing that. EVER! But I said in the heat of the moment that maybe I’ll go stay out all night too and he said “good! fine!” which makes something sound fishy. I don’t know what but I don’t like it.
So now I’m just left being frustrated because at this point the damage is done as far as I’m concerned. If he tells me he decided not to go because of me it won’t help anything. He’ll just be resentful towards me all week, and I feel like the problem was that he made told me he was going to a club and staying out all night in the first place.
Oh and let me add that we aren’t people that go to clubs. We have a certain respect for eachother in which if I was going to be around a bunch of single guys alone istwouldn’t be appropriate, and vice versa. Oh and my Fiance is not much of a drinker, he could designate a driver or not have drinks toward the end of the night easily if he wanted to take his own car.