(Closed) Help me SPICE IT UP!

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

At the risk of suggesting the very obvious – have you talked to him about this? Did he used to be more enthusiastic about initiating sex? I hate to blame everything on the crappy economy, but I know that not having a job for a few months has certainly taken a lot of the wind out of my mojo sails! If that’s the case, maybe you could try and come up with ideas for free dates, so money is less of an issue. In regards to getting him in the mood – send enticing emails or texts, allude to what might happen that night when you’re getting ready in the morning, leave notes for him that he can find during the day (in his briefcase, with his lunch, etc), write notes to him on the mirror in the bathroom that he’ll see when he gets out of the shower. I’ll keep thinking about more stuff you could try, but hopefully some other Bees will chime in!

Post # 4
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I send Fiance texts, and pictures at work so he can start to get excited for that night! It seems to work for him!!!! maybe send him on a sexy scavenger hunt. or leave little naughty notes. things that just get him thinking about it, so he starts to get excited and then wants you bad by the time it comes.

Also, tell him you want him to initiate more! Be blunt about it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

When he comes home, greet him wearing somehting naughty. When I feel like we need to spice it up every now and then, that’s what I do. I’ll buy some new lingerie and give it a whirl ๐Ÿ˜‰

If that doesn’t work, tell him about all the places in your house that you’d like to christen. I can guarantee that whenever Mr. Rainbow goes into our hallway closet he has good memories, which gets him thinking about sex, wheich makes him want to have more sex. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 7
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Go buy a Kama Sutra book!

Post # 8
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

He might not be as interested in sex as you are.  I know it sounds sort of strange, but you two should schedule times to be together.  And then try to make it fun.  Try different things, buy a toy or Kama Sutra book (I like the Cosmo one).

Post # 9
31 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

When my FH and I went through something like this I bought a steamy book and left it sitting on the counter.. Subtle, but he got the drift.

Post # 11
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with MissAsB…my fiance and I are pretty stressed out with work and life and sometimes our sex drive is non-existant due to the stress. We have a shared google calendar that sync’s with our phones. Every now and then, I’ll get a google calendar reminder that sexy time is in 15 minutes! It is unromantic to schedule in sex, but with our lives, sometimes it is needed. 

Also, we have talked about the subject so we know that the underlying issue is our stress level – not a relationship issue. Talk to him. He may not even realize that this is an issue. 

Post # 12
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

RosieGirl is right, be blunt!

Basically talk like a hooker lol! Say I can’t wait to do “such in such to you” in a text, very bluntly ๐Ÿ˜‰ it’ll drive him crazy. Use the F word too, make it just about the sex and not so much about lovey dovey stuff, this works esp if you don’t normally talk like that too.

Also, the element of surprise should never be underestimated. Cook dinner in a maids outfit, or when your laying around in your pjs and get up to go into the other room, come back out in sexy lingerie.

Post # 14
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Try surprising him in the shower

Post # 15
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am going through the same right now. I have brought it up and he doesn’t take it well. I’ve tried all the suggestions above too. I sometimes feel it is me who’s wrong bc women aren’t “supposed” to have a higher sex drive than their boyfriends. I do though.

We haven’t figured it out yet, I don’t really have advice, just wanted to let you know I’m in the same boat and it isn’t just you. I just had the same discussion with a good friend regarding her husband the other day.

Post # 16
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I suggest the book 52 nights of great sex.  Get it at barnes and noble.

Some of the stuff was a bit much for us, but we toned it down a bit.  Still stole much of their ideas and we are quite happy.  Winkey winkey!

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