(Closed) Help Me With My Beautiful Bride-To-Be

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

They can’t sensor her if she is telling the truth- but if you’re still working with this vendor you may want to stop bashing them until after the services are provided/something is worked out.

  They also can not make you sign anything. If you have a contract and the services promised have not been provided you may want to consult your lawyer. All required payments should have been written into the contract.

  As for your bride- you’re obviously very supportive. Find a new vendor and focus on what’s important.

Post # 4
13 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

have you heard of any other couples this vendor has “strong armed”?  maybe they can be a voice in this.

Post # 6
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yes, I really must agree with the above poster who stated that you should not criticize any vendors online until after your wedding.  

You also should not trust this person to be a part of your wedding.  You should quietly begin researching options for replacing this vendor.   Your bride to be will be much happier if you can find her two or three alternative vendors who are free on your wedding date.

You will probably need to eat the costs of any nonrefundable wedding deposits unless your contract specifically includes the date by which the vendor agreed to provide service X, and you can document that the vendor is in violation of the contract by having not provided this service.  It is also possible that the vendor may agree to refund your deposit if you refrain from writing poor reviews about him or her online.  But they cannot force you to sign a confidentiality agreement now, nor will they be able to sue you for slander if you truthfully document your experience online.  But I would advise you to wait until after your wedding since you should  just focus on your wedding now.

If you do decide to walk away from your deposit, you should refuse all further contact with the vendor and just focus on planning your wedding.

It would also be of great help to your bride if you focus on trying to obtain a refund of the deposit so that she doesn’t have to worry about dealing with the vendor.  


Post # 8
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree, you need to replace this vendor.  Even if somehow you got everything worked out before the wedding day, I would not trust this person to do a good job because of all the bad blood involved.

Start thinking of this purely as a business transaction.  You signed a contract, and this vendor has not lived up to their end of the contract.  Have a lawyer send them a certified letter (the kind that they have to sign for so you have proof that they received it) demanding that they either give you your money back and dissolve the contract or provided the contracted service immediately with compensation for the trouble they’ve caused you already.  Get as far away from this vendor as you possibly can, and hire someone else to provide this service at all costs.  I know having a lawyer write a letter might seem drastic, but you need to do something to scare this person into remembering that a contract is a legal document.  This isn’t about emotions or bullying or anything like that, it is a legal issue.

Best of luck and sorry you’re having to deal with this.

Post # 9
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

“Toxic Vendor Syndrome”  I think you have a toxic vendor on your hands!  This person will try to suck all the joy out of your planning and your wedding day!  Call them directly and fire them.  Explain point by point exactly WHY they have provided substandard service!  Tell them you will NOT be signing ANY confidentiality agreements about their service, and if they are worried about being reviewed online, perhaps they should have treated you better!  I’m so angry for you right now!!  Tell the person that when you hang up the phone, they can consider their role expired, and if you hear from them further, that you will consider it harassment.  I’m not sure what service they are providing, but it sounds maybe like a wedding coordinator.  You have plenty of time to find another one.  Better to find someone who is going to support you during this time than someone who is going to harass your Fiance and upset her so much!

The biggest thing is to cut all ties with the vendor and sever communication after you have fired them.  If you choose to share your story on WB (or any other website!) after the wedding, just make sure to do so without emotion and remain completely factual.  You can’t be sued for libel or slander if you state facts.

Post # 10
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hi Gloomy, I am really sorry you are experiencing this. I understand you don’t want to share the information about your vendor, but if you change your mind you will see us bee’s share our bad experiences here as well and vendors have the chance to respond, but not the ability to have it deleted like they do on other websites (I won’t name names).

If this vendor is your photographer or videographer, I would absolutely get a replacement. Photography is so important and it might be very bad if you are on bad terms with the person who is photographing the most intimate and personal moment of your life.

Post # 11
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I would actually flip the script and have a lawyer write a letter about breach of contract/lack of having a contract for whatever they’re trying to force you to pay, and follow that with a letter about misrepresentation (since they lied on their blog post) and slander using your name (see if you can get a c&d for that because that’s crazy!). Demand compensation for what you have gone through and make sure you have everything documented (call your phone company and ask for detailed billing to show when they called you and demanded payment, etc, for whatever you didn’t get) or otherwise, threaten to take them to court.

If you don’t want to pursue this because, well, it’s kind of annoying to have to go to court–fire them immediately. Call them up, say you dont care that you’re losing your deposit, they were highly unprofessional and within your legal rights you will be informing others of only the facts of the case.

And if you choose to post ANY reviews here or elsewhere, make another name, post factually (in fact, only posting direct comments/emails between you and vendor would be best) and do not become emotionally involved with any commentary ensuing.

Good luck!

Post # 12
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

First off, you are so sweet for coming to your Bride’s support system/site to ask for our assistance.  Its great to see that you understand WHY brides come here for support and ideas, and to see how supportive of her you truly are.

I have to agree with many other posters – get rid of this vendor.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times I posted on Facebook something along the lines of “My invites are GORGEOUS!” or “I got my dress and I LOVE it!  Thanks (bridal shop) for such an amazing experience!”   could never imagine my shop or my invitation vendor contacting me about bashing them.  They cannot make you pay for something that you discussed verbally but did not include in the contract.  If they forgot to include it, that is their issue.

I do also agree with Sapphire above that, when you DO review this vendor, that you state facts that can be substantiated so they cannot chase you for libel.  Facts are facts.  Good luck with this, Im looking forward to the reveiw when its finally over 🙂

Also, know that you arent alone…there were some rpetty funny strings on here about vendors from hell.   The one in particular I remember was about a DJ in Cali who spoke terribly to potential clients.  PM me if you want the link to those

Post # 14
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

You can definitely file a small claims suit against the vendor for breech of contract.  They cannot take Y out if it is IN the contract.  You can also call your credit card company (if that is how you paid) and have them rescind the money, since most major credit cards will do that for you if you can show breech of contract.  That then places the ball in the vendor’s court to sue YOU for the money, and to do that they would have to prove they DIDN’T breech the contract, and it sounds like they clearly did.  And yeah, they definitely can’t tell you or your B2B that you can’t talk about what an aweful experience you’ve had.  As long as you only state facts, you have every legal right to buy a one page ad in the newspaper if you want to that tells about the horrible customer service.  This person is clearly trying to use scare tactics to hide their shady service.  Don’t let them scare you.  In the end they have no legal recourse!

Post # 16
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

If you feel that they failed to uphold their obligations contained in the contract, and if you have already paid a fee for those services, you have a case and may petition to file in small claims court.  The ruling will not nullify the contract, it actually upholds the verbage in the contract and refunds you for what was not done.

Did you or your bride sign another contract which precludes you from publicly discussing your business transaction?  That would be an odd thing to include in the original contract wording.  I’d also like to add that your B2B cannot have signed anything legally binding YOU.  If anything was sent to YOUR e-mail, then YOU can post it, just not her (if she signed a contract saying she wouldn’t).

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