Post # 1
I am Catholic marrying a Jew, and trying to plan an interfaith ceremony. We are going to do the bedeken and sign a marriage contract. I was hoping someone could help me understand better how exactly these would work (as I understand they are done before the actual ceremony). I get all my Jewish wedding info online (can’t ask FI’s family due to complex family situation) so I’m a bit confused.
They way I pictured it, Fiance and our families and wedding party would be gathered in a room prior to the ceremony. I would come into the room wearing my veil. It would be the first time he sees me. We would meet in the middle of the room and he would lift the veil. Then, once he sees that it’s really me, we would go to the officiant, who’d have the contract, and sign it along with our witnesses.
Is this how it’s supposed to work? Is there anything I’m missing or should be doing differently?
Post # 3
Post # 4
are you going to have a meeting with your rabbi? he should be able to tell you in detail what you will be doing.
Post # 5
@artbee. We don’t have a rabbi. We are writing our own ceremony and having a friend officiate
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2018 - Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Rey
The only thing I’d add is that if you want to make the ceremony more egalitarian, you could put the kippah on your fiance after he veils you. (Incidentally, if you don’t want to, you don’t need to come in with your face veiled, he can veil you or put your blusher down after the ketubah signing.)
Here’s my post on our bedecken:
It was my favorite part of our wedding day. ;-P
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Often times, instead of you going to him, your fiance will be brought to you, in a rowdy group of his friends and family! Then, you can do the veiling (and if you would like, give him a kippah, we’re doing that too), and then sign the ketubah together. You can all your guests, anyone who wants, or just your immediate family be present for this. During this part, most of the guests will be going to the ceremony site.
I’ve definitely posted this book on here before, but just in case you haven’t seen it yet, the book, “the new jewish wedding” by anita diamant is very very helpful. There is information about interfaith, and just general jewish wedding information. I think you will find it very helpful, especially without the guidance of a rabbi to help flesh everything out! I would be happy to bounce ideas because we are planning our jewish wedding at the same time!