(Closed) HELP!!!… MOH ordered her dress without me seeing it on her!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m a bit confused.  Why did you send her pitures of dressed you didn’t want her to get?  Did you specify that she needed to try them on and send you a picture BEFORE she bought one?  I’m also confused as to why you pushed her to try on dresses for 4 months, when she doesn’t need to get one for another 5-6 months?  It sounds like there was a serious miscommunication here.  My guess is that she thought she had to get one of those dresses now. 

Anyway, once you answer those questions I can give you better advice.

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RunsWithBears:  Couldn’t have said it better!  I’m confused about those exact same things… 

Post # 6
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Did you have the bridesmaid dresses first then?  If so, why didn’t you send her pictures of dresses that wouldn’t clash with them?   Why didn’t you send her pics of the bridesmaid dresses too?

this is really confusing 

Post # 8
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sounds like there was a lot of miscommunication going on.  Consider it a lesson learned: don’t send pictures of something you wouldn’t want her to buy.  Chalk it up to a miscommunication and be thankful she has something to wear for the wedding!  Many people on these boards have BMs that don’t get their dresses in time.  

 

Post # 9
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

do you have pictures of her dress and the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses that we can see to compare?

Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

How far away was the dress store from where she lives? Did she have to go alone?

It is possible she didn’t want to have to go more than once, or that the sallon wouldn’t let her take photos unless she put down a deposit.

As long as the dress is one of the ones you sent to her, I’d just let it go. If it is really horrible, maybe ask if the deposit can be applied to another dress instead. Also, it might be nice for you to try and go with her so she’s not feeling pressured or bossed around from afar.

Post # 11
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im sure she can return or switch the dress

Post # 12
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like she bought one of the dresses that you’d suggested, right? So that’s good.  

In my experience, what the mothers wear really does not matter in the long run. It’s all about the bride, then maybe the groom, then people might check out the bridesmaids, and then the mothers in a far, far distant 4th place. 

I also don’t think that the bride traditionally gets to dictate what the mothers wear. It’s nice if the mother tries to be cooperative, but she’s not a bridesmaid, and she’s pying for the dress herself… so she hets to choose what she thinks looks good on her. 

I don’t mean to be insensitive; I just think she didn’t commit a huge crime.

Post # 14
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@stillme:  it’s her maid of honour not her mother

Post # 16
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@LeiLei43:  Well, if it doesn’t flatter her, that’s her problem. Try not to worry about it. Be glad she at least didn’t go totally rogue & buy something completely random!

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