Post # 1
So i need your opinions on this. I have two older sisters, they are both married, and the Maid/Matron of Honor has always been a sister (i was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my middle sisters wedding, middle sister was Maid/Matron of Honor for oldest sister) I am not even engaged yet but my mother brought it up that my oldest sister MUST be my Maid/Matron of Honor or feelings will get hurt and its “her turn” the thing is…my oldest sister moved away a few years ago and my other sis and i are really close so if i had to choose, I would go with my closer middle sister.
Should I do what I want when the time comes or just do what is expected and avoid the tons of drama that comes with not doing what my mother (and oldest sister) want.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@MissStruggles: Yeah 2 would be a great idea. In my experience, you definitely want one of them to be close/ local to you.
Post # 5
Just have them both be Maid/Matron of Honor.
Both my sisters were MOHs. At my older sisters wedding, I was Maid/Matron of Honor and my little sister was Bridesmaid or Best Man but only because she was 15 at the time. It really didn’t matter to either of us.
Post # 6
You mentioned that your mom feels strongly about this, but what about your older sister? Being a Maid/Matron of Honor is fun, but its also work. Are you sure she would even want to do it- especially if you are closer with your other sister? I lean towards you chossing the person you want unless you really think this would damage the relationship with your older sister. If it seems like a huge problem I would agree with PPs that you maybe can ask both of them.
Post # 7
Well, definitely do what you want as it’s your wedding. However, I’ll echo what the other PP’s said and ask why not have both? My little sister and I were MOH’s for my older sister’s wedding, and both of them were MOH’s for my wedding. It was so nice to plan together for things such as showers, presents, etc. For my sister’s wedding, she “split up roles” – ie, I stood closest to her, little sister signed the marriage certificate but both were listed as MOH’s in the program and both of us gave speeches together. Same for my wedding. It worked out great!
Post # 8
I agree have both!
I know some girls who have done that, it works out well! One can stand by you at the ceromony, one can sit by you at the reception, etc.
Post # 9
@MissStruggles: I agree with everyone that has posted about having 2 MOH’s. I’m having 3 Maid/Matron of Honor and 3 bridesmaid because I couldn’t just choose 1 Maid/Matron of Honor without hurting someones feelings (whether they would say that or not but I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in 2 of their weddings and the 3rd eloped so no one went to that it was just her and her hubby). I’ve known them all the longest out of my 6 girls so it just seemed right. I just gave them different duites: 1 signs the registery paperwork , 1 plans the shower/bacherlorette and the 3rd one will give the speech etc. You can’t go wrong with hurting anyones feeling that way 🙂 Good luck!!
Post # 10
@MissStruggles: Have you talked to your middle sister about it? If your family is so obsessed with “each girl’s turn”, and if the older sister married first, it is possible that middle sis deliberately chose you as Maid/Matron of Honor, to ensure everyone had a “turn”. Even if that’s not the case, she might be ok with older sis being Maid/Matron of Honor.
It also depends on what your family expects of Maid/Matron of Honor. If Maid/Matron of Honor is simply the one who stands closest in the ceremony and proposes a toast at the reception, it doesn’t matter too much who does it. You could also dress all the girls the same to show they’re “equal”. (Some people like to dress the Maid/Matron of Honor slightly different).
Post # 11
Make them both MOHs! The older one can have the title without the work, and the younger one can actualy help with planning stuff, since she’s closer!
Post # 12
@paula1248: I talked to my middle sister about it and she said that she didnt care either way, my oldest sister however..im %100 sure that she would cry and throw a fit, even if I had both of them as Maid/Matron of Honor she would still be mad at not having her turn. I want to choose my middle sis when the time comes because she and I are really close but idk if its worth the drama…
Post # 13
@MissStruggles: My sisters and I were going to do your family’s plan… but then I got engaged and was just like WHAT you are both being my MOH! This is ridiculous! And so far so good. One is the type A personality who gets it done and the other is the comic relief. I love them!!!
Post # 14
I say do both! If older sister throws a fit about that – she just needs to get over it. You are being more than fair!