Post # 1
I have a dilema and any and all advice is welcome. My mom, MOB, is a drinker. I mean drink herself into a stupor drinker. On a recent family cruise, she got drunk and embarassed my 27 year old sister, my father and I. There’s a lot of confusion as to who is the child and who is the adult. I don’t mean to say she can’t drink and have a good time but it’s out of hand and anytime I say anything she gets defensive. My sister, who likes to drink, is always defending her and my father just sits back and watches.
I want to let her know I don’t want her to get drunk at the wedding and cause a scene but don’t know how. Should I tell her I don’t want her to drink at all or try to limit how much she drinks. I don’t want to assign my dad the job of babysitting her because I want him to have a good time. My fiance and I have already decided that if we have children, we will lay down the law and tell her she will never be left alone with the child(ren) until she goes to AA but what to do about th wedding. We want everyone to have a good time but we don’t want to worry about her embarassing us (or herself)
Post # 3
I would sit her down & gently explain yourself. Chances are she knows how she gets & will hopefully want to be happy & sober for your big day.
Another approach, and I have to do this myself w/ an uncle, is if you’re having a bartender have them limit her drinking. You can also appoint someone to kind of watch her & if they see she’s getting out of hand go outside & get some cool air or take her to the dance floor.
Post # 4
Is there someone else you can ask to watch her? Or can you set up an automatic limit for her at the bar/with the wait staff? As MOB she’d be pretty easy for them to recognize (not just any random guest) – the bar could water down her drinks, etc.
Kind of passive aggressive, but if she isn’t going to listen to your request, it might at least keep her from creating a scene.
Post # 5
I have to say, saying that she could have a drink and have a good time. She obviously has a problem with alcohol, which means that no, she can’t do that. Because she won’t stop at one..or two…or three…
She needs help. You could try sitting her down, but my guess is she is going to get bery defensive and it is going to cause a huge issue. If you decide to do this, don’t do it alone, do it with the rest of the family there.