- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi Bees! I would love some MOB advice. I’ll try to keep it short but no promises.
When I got engaged in June 2012 I was so excied (of course)! My fiance and I have been together for 8 1/2 years, since college, and, for my mom and I both, it was about damn time My fiance whiked me away to the place where we’ve decided to get married, and purchased 5 or 6 wedding magazines for me to read over the engagement weekend, what a guy! When we returned I talked to my mom a lot about what we thought we wanted, we looked through magazines together, talked about dresses, etc. and I expressed how excited I was that we got to do this together.
Since that time my fiance has proved to be quite the involved groom. He wants to be in the decisions making process every step of the way, which I think is so great. It is his wedding too, after all. However, this has meant that I haven’t gone to my mother for advice or to bounce ideas off of as much since my fiance and I have been side by side through all of it.
When our save the dates arrived in the mail I took that as an opportunity to include her a little bit and was so excited when I showed them to my family on Thanksgiving. She took a glance and gave a simple “they’re nice”. That, to me, said she wasn’t terribly interested so I didn’t say anything else about wedding stuff.
Today, however, she expresses that she feels “completely excluded from <the> wedding”, which I don’t want. So this afternoon I sent her ideas I’ve had for my hair, veil, bridesmaids shoes, and quotes from two florists. Again, her feedback was “I don’t really know, whatever you want”.
Each time I try to include her in something she’s very passive about all of it, she doesn’t seem like she cares. And the icing on the cake for me is that she actually wants to create and put together the centerpieces on the day-of. My concern there is that she’ll be so busy running around that she won’t have fun or be able to share the day with me. Her response, however, is “what else am I going to have to do that day?”
I’m trying not to but I’m starting to take it personally. Each time she expresses she feels left out I try and include her but when I do she seems so disinterested. Brides and MOB’s, what should I do? Am I really not including her appropriately? Should I just brush it off as not a big deal and continue with business as usual?