(Closed) Help! My BM invited friends to the shower, who aren’t invited to the wedding

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I know the etiquette rule is that you “have” to invite them to the wedding but honestly, at three weeks out, surely they already realized that they are not invited.  I feel like if they come, they probably really just want to hang out and enjoy the shower and if they realize the etiquette faux pas, they probably will simply not attend or won’t bring a gift. If you know for sure that you can’t accomodate them at the wedding, I would just let this go.

Post # 4
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Blame it on the bridesmaid who did the actual inviting! Haha, but like, seriously…It sucks, but most likely they’ve realized they’re not invited to the wedding and if they were going to be insulted by being invited to the shower and not the wedding, they probably just won’t attend the shower…Sorry tho, that sucks!

Post # 5
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I was invited to a bridal shower once and not invited to the wedding. I wasnt mad, kinda sat until i found out why!

a little back ground info on the couple– I am (was) pretty good friends with the groom. He works on my car, when i was single fixed stuff around my house. Go out drinking ( with a BIG group not just us!) One night before I new Fiance, We were all out drinking ( way to much- i had no idea what happened that night till the next day) I saw this really cute guy that came into my work, we started talking & i took him home. The next day i found out the guys Girlfriend was AT THE BAR AND SAW!

So ever since the bride has HATED me (secretly) because she thinks that I would do that to her man ( were friends but hes FAR from my type). I would totally never do anything like that knowning they have a g/f wife! or date a friends old/ current b/f

I found they whole situation pretty funny.

Post # 6
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d just play it by ear with them – IF they actually come. I probably wouldn’t if I weren’t invited to the wedding and if not being invited upsets then I doubt they’d come.

If they show up I’d just apologize privately at the end of the event. I’m sure if they do attend that they just want to socialize so they probably don’t need an apology – but I think it’s the considerate thing to do.

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