HELP! My boyfriend asked for 6 months to propose and didn't follow through!

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: How long should I wait for a proposal

    A few more months, while he starts his new job and gains confidence.

    Until your 5 year anniversary (in 4.5 months).

    Give up on getting legally married and just be glad you're happy and have a loving family.

    ZERO months. He had his chance... move on.

  • Post # 31
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee

    Oh dear….you’re settling for a forced proposal which was just empty words meant to appease you. 

    I wish you all the best but I don’t think this is going to end well for you. 

    “Unofficial” engagements are ridiculous and immature. Your boyfriend is acting like he’s in high school and you are putting up with it. He doesn’t want to marry you. If marriage is a goal for you, then you simply cannot stay with him even if it means uprooting your children. 

     

    Post # 32
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    mrsaime :  

    I would be very surprised if a date was set based on what the OP has shared. 

    Even if they do get married, there will be a lot of issues because the OP had to drag her husband to the altar.

    Post # 33
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    JennyPenny2019 :  this is life. A perfect proposal (whatever that means) means absolutely nothing, really – what is “perfect” here (to me) is your communication and respect for each other. 

    Bring your joy to it, bee. 

    The rest will follow. 

    Congratulations ❤️❤️

    Post # 35
    Member
    3098 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    View original reply
    JennyPenny2019 : talk is cheap especially after 10yrs and 2kids! *When* EXACTLY is he going to follow through and actually marry you though? A simple wedding in the backyard/park can be put together in a few weeks. A courthouse even less time…. so whats the DATE op?

    Post # 36
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    View original reply
    JennyPenny2019 :  There is nothing that is 100% perfect in this world. You may have dreams of how you may want something to be. But your not guarenteed that. So always take the good with the bad. Look at the glass half full instead of half empty. The other day you wanted this perfect proposal were you going to get it no. Not the way you dreamed of it. But guess what? Today you can say you are engaged. Did it happen the way you expected? No. But that’s ok. Life isn’t perfect. But you have your man and best friend. Now go out get that ring of yours and start wedding planning. It’s a lot fun.

    Post # 37
    Member
    3185 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    mrsautumn36 :  I totally agree!! OP will be back with bad news. May be a month, a year, another 5 years. But she’ll be back.

    Post # 39
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I don’t know… you’re copping a lot of negativity but I feel like this is one of the better outcomes. Life is not perfect and you have two children together, you’ve set a date and one of you is dealing with a mental illness. I say congratulations – have fun planning a wedding that you both can look forward to. Don’t worry about the ‘perfect’ proposal, I’ve only ever seen/heard of them in american movies, real life is rarely like that. 

    To all those saying she should ‘walk’ because the proposal was less than perfect. Ugh, they have two children plus those from previous relationships. It’s not that simple. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    By The Way we planned ours in four months. No big deal, just couldn’t get one of the floofy dresses from the high street retailers, everything else was totally fine. Lock in your venue and caterers as soon as possible though. Good luck!

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    View original reply
    JennyPenny2019 :  7 months is fine. First you need to find your venue. That is the most important thing. Everything will fall into place. Like catt said she did her’s in 4 months. If your trying to save money (which I did) there are a lot of resale wedding websites online. They are amazing. And if your crafty you can DIY a lot of your decorations. I did my all my bouquet’s, the men’s boutineers, the centerpieces and the coursages. It was so much cheaper. I also bought most of my things off of amazon. They have everything. Flower girls dresses, veils even chalkboards. You don’t have to spend a lot of money for a beautiful wedding. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    sunburn :  Your comment “I don’t believe on giving people a pass because they’re stressed/depressed” just shows that you have no idea what depression is and what it can do to someone. It’s not the same as being stressed. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    5464 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    aussiecat :  I disagree, and quite strongly. You do not get a pass on treating people unkindly or unfairly just because you’re depressed. People should be accountable for their actions. Depression does not excuse poor treatment of others. You don’t get to treat others like crap just because you’re depressed. And do not presume to know what I am not familiar with just because you think this kind of behavior is ok.

    Post # 45
    Member
    2879 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    JennyPenny2019 :  You have children together and have a family. If he’s going to marry you, it’s definitely in your best interest, and in the best interest of your children, to move forward in that. 

    Congratulations on your engagement!

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