HELP! My boyfriend asked for 6 months to propose and didn't follow through!

posted 4 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: How long should I wait for a proposal
    A few more months, while he starts his new job and gains confidence. : (17 votes)
    23 %
    Until your 5 year anniversary (in 4.5 months). : (14 votes)
    19 %
    Give up on getting legally married and just be glad you're happy and have a loving family. : (14 votes)
    19 %
    ZERO months. He had his chance... move on. : (29 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    571 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    No one DESERVES a proposal or a wedding. Those are just steps in a process. Steps can be skipped. 

    You live together, you have kids together. If you want to get married, just marry the guy!

    Post # 47
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    I just remarried my exhusband of 24 years after a 2 year divorce. He hemmed and hawed a little bit about setting a date because he is changing careers and doesn’t feel as stable as he would like. I have a very good job and money wasn’t the issue. The issue was that as a man in our culture, he’s been programmed to take on the   Bread winner role and it bothered him that he didn’t feel good about his contributions. We worked through it. The stresses of planning a wedding seemed overwhelming to him. Once we opted for a very intimate ceremony with just our children, the officiant and her husband plus my bff, we were golden. 

    Best of luck to you and congratulations. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    JennyPenny2019 :  

    Very good for you and thank you for being patient with your partner and compromising together to move forward in a way that was comfortable for you both. 

    I was kind of sad at some of the responses up here. My husband and I had our children before we were married. My  then partner asked if we could get married when I was pregnant with our first… I think he had been planning on it before the pregnancy. I said we had other things to worry about. He brought it up after she was born, and I said I’d rather finish the kids thing first. When we were pregnant with our 2nd (years later) we picked out a diamond. One day we walked by a venue that we realized was truly “us” and I got excited and we became “engaged”. No one “proposed” to anyone. 

    If at any point in time during this, he’d have set up an ultimatum, threatened me with breaking up our family because I wouldn’t give him the official title of “husband”, I would have wept and wept, to think that that meant more to him than the lives and love we were already sharing together. Of course I wasn’t waiting for someone better! It’s just that if we were going to do it, I needed for it to be the right time and place, in order for it to be as… I don’t know… as “right” as I wanted it to be. (I have anxiety and have suffered from depression previously, by the way).

    anyway. Good for you. Congratulations to you both, and to your children. Despite what some previous posters have said, I think you have a wonderful future ahead of yourselves, each respecting one another’s needs, and compromising maturely and intelligently and lovingly so that they may be met.

    Xo

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